Hidden Costs of Pursuing the American Dream
In the past year, the discussion of living in the United States versus India, Bay Area versus Bengaluru, has been a constant in my life. Ultimately, the decision was made to move back to Bengaluru. This journey has taught me that there’s no definitive answer to the question of which valley is superior to live for Indians. It’s more about finding the place that suits your needs and preferences best.
A bit about me: I was fortunate to be one of the early Uber India employees who saw the potential during the tumultuous cultural shift of 2017. This led to the opportunity to relocate to the Bay Area. At that time, I didn’t dwell on the question of “Which Valley is better?”. I simply embraced the chance. The allure of being in the U.S., particularly spending half of my twenties in San Francisco, was an obvious choice. My time in the Bay Area changed me for the better, making me a much improved version of myself.
Reflecting on my time in the Bay Area, I’ve identified five key factors that had a profound impact on me:
- Embracing Independence in the United States of America: Transitioning from a close-knit communal eastern society to an individualistic western society is truly liberating. It provides the mental space and freedom to truly be yourself and explore your own identity. Leaving behind the familiar comforts of your home country to forge a life in a foreign land requires self-reliance across emotional, personal, professional, social, and financial aspects. This journey presents a remarkable opportunity for personal growth and development.
2. Professional Growth Amongst the Best: Being surrounded by some of the brightest minds in the industry propels professional development. In the initial months, I felt constantly intimidated by the caliber of people around me. However, as time went on, I discovered my own strengths and learned how to use them to drive my own development and also made some amazing friends on the way.
3. The Power of the Dollar: While the Bay Area’s high cost of living can occasionally pose day-to-day financial challenges, the salaries here are among the most competitive globally. This means that even though daily expenses may require some adjustment, it affords a level of affluence in India and opens doors to luxuries that may be out of reach if you are working elsewhere in the world.
4. Active Lifestyle and Cultural Exposure: The Bay Area boasts a vibrant lifestyle, with a thriving running culture, concerts, plays, sports events, and meetups. Engaging in these activities expands your personal horizons. You have the opportunity to meet people from all over the world, providing insights not only into American culture but also various other countries.
5. Quality of Life: The infrastructure in the U.S. is impressive, boasting clean air, well-maintained roads, and an uninterrupted supply of hot water without the need for a geyser. The abundance of picturesque locations for hiking and fun travel destinations adds to the allure. Dining at high-end restaurants can be quite an experience. And for the most part, everything just runs smoothly.
However, as I settled into my Californian life, I gradually realized that, as an immigrant from India, none of this came without a price. There were hidden costs that eluded me for the longest time.
These hidden costs for me encompassed three main components:
- Family: When you move away, you leave your parents, family and old friends behind. The physical distance and time zone disparities become palpable. Over time, the demands of life in the U.S. can lead to a gradual waning of your availability and attention for your family back home. It becomes impractical to frequently travel to India, which can lead to you being less present for both the small everyday moments and significant life events. Most significantly, in the unfortunate event of losing a loved one, attending their funeral or bidding a final farewell is almost impossible in most cases because of the long travel times of over 24 hours.
2. Professional Freedom: Unless you excel exceptionally at your profession to get an O1 visa, or find a creative workaround to skip the green card queue, or have been fortunate enough to come on an L1A visa, you may find yourself in a 10–20 year wait for a green card. While waiting for green card approval as an H1B worker, you can sustain a steady role at a medium to large-sized company with robust visa support. But, it is quite challenging to take sabbaticals or start a company or take any sort of professional risks due to the visa constraints.
3. Time for Yourself: Finding personal time can be a bit of a juggling act. With the cost of house help or other assistance being so high, you end up taking on many tasks yourself. This could mean dedicating 25–100% of your weekend to tasks like cooking in batches, doing laundry, cleaning, restocking your kitchen, handling immigration paperwork for yourself or your family, and making sure your parents, when they visit in the US, are taken care of since they are not as independent in the US. This leaves you with limited free time and mental capacity to pursue new skills, especially when you factor in work commitments, social engagements, and fitness routines.
At 25, I didn’t contemplate these costs when I made the move to the U.S. Looking back, armed with this newfound awareness, I don’t know what choice I would have made. However, understanding these hidden costs has provided me with a deeper compassion of the repercussions of my decisions on both myself and my family.
After careful consideration, I’ve decided to return to Bengaluru, and I have been enjoying it so far. Rather than getting too caught up in what lies far ahead, I’m focussed on building a fulfilling life right here in the present moment. 😌
