This Too Shall Pass: Cultivate Resilience
“It is worth remembering that the time of greatest gain in terms of wisdom and inner strength is often that of greatest difficulty.” ―Dalai Lama
I found the above quote a perfect kick-start mantra to help us build resilience.
No one gets a free ride in this world of uncertainty where a single devastating event can dim the light yet there are deep wells of strength which lies within us to fight with difficulties. Our quality of life is determined by how to respond to events. Groundbreaking research in resilience has broken the myth that difficult times will leave us heartbroken ever. Resilience is defined as an ability to bounce back from adversities, for example, relationship issues, financial crunch, failure in academics, loss of a loved one, natural calamities, war etc. It is an art of living by not getting knocked out by hardships but starting anew. Resilience is not a magic wand but a belief in oneself to survive through storm. A famous evolutionary psychologist Charles Darwin stated that “It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change.”
Although each one of us differs in our ability to handle challenging circumstances but at the same time we all have considerable capacity to accommodate hurt and build strength.
Here are simple acts that can help us in building resilience:
Pump up your optimism: Life throws lemons but we can certainly make lemonade with it. Visualizing good things enables one to bounce back. One should recall all those aspects in life which are going well and express gratefulness. A well-known psychologist Fredrickson found in her research program that resilient people experience negative emotions in difficult situations but they find a silver lining too which helps them to thrive in change.
Boost your self-esteem: It’s incredibly difficult to bounce back but it can be made possible with building a healthy self-esteem. Looking at the loss as an opportunity to learn and building confidence to move on helps in uplifting us.
Spend time with loved ones: A problem shared is halved! When times get really tough, it’s important to turn to our important relationships for support and comfort. Engaging in emotional interaction with loved ones helps one to relieve feelings of guilt, grief and loss. Simply sharing one’s concerns with family and friends is a great way to come up with positive suggestions and solutions.
Engage yourself in altruistic acts: Simple gestures of help in all forms like volunteering, raising funds, social work etc. bring self-satisfaction and meaning to one’s life. Such acts pull us out of negative and worrisome thoughts and help us to become more resilient.
