Just because you’re struggling, does not mean you are failing
You’re 3 years old. It’s the first time you see what your parents call a sykaa. So you scream, “SYKAA”. But they’re quick to correct you, “It’s called a cycle!”. You can’t wait to sit on top of the Sykaa and start moving faster than the world. Imagine being the first to reach everywhere, showing your parents you can go “ZOOM”. They attach training wheels to you sykaa and you think, “It’s so easy!! I have to push my legs in circles and I go so fast”. A few days later, your dad decides to remove the training wheels. He’s walking along with you though. Why? It’s so easy.
And before you know it, you fall on your right knee and bruise it. A moment of terror. You look back with tears in your eyes. Your dad is not with you. He’s running towards you, telling you that it’s going to be okay. It hurts. It’s so red.
You’re scared of riding the cycle again. You don’t want to. You hate playing time. But your parents keep forcing you to. And every time you ride, you fall — when you're turning or when you have to apply brakes. Why would they make you ride something so tough? You’re struggling every single day. Is there no end?
But something feels different. You feel less scared now. You’ve struggled out of your fears. You finally have your “Ahaa” moment when it all comes together. Your pedaling feels good. The wind is kissing your face. It’s almost like you’re gliding through. A free bird! The feeling of knowing that your parents are nowhere around you is the first time you experience the freedom of being by yourself. You’re thrilled and confident suddenly. You spend a whole hour just cycling. It’s the start of your new life — riding the cycle across the neighborhood.
Happiness doesn’t lie in comfort. It lies in the things that give meaning to life. If you can pick up your bicycle and ride today, it’s because you cycled through your struggles and fears as a child. Just because you were struggling, doesn't mean you were failing. All of us learned this the hard way. Yet we seem to have forgotten about it.
“If you are struggling, then you are making progress” — Frederick Douglas
“I’m struggling” is not the opposite of “being productive.” It means that you’re making progress. We see struggle as a sign that something has gone wrong and when we respond to struggle with a sense of embarrassment, or shame, we re-enforce the idea that struggling is indeed wrong.
Even in the gym, the instructor always emphasizes the fact that your struggle is what makes you stronger. No pain, no gain, right?
But struggling sucks. Nobody wakes in the morning, crossing their fingers, saying, “Man, I really hope to struggle today”. And yet here we are, each of us struggling with one thing or another. Some just hide it better than others while some learn to deal with it.
So if you’re struggling, and if things feel hard, remember that it is an opportunity for growth. An opening. It doesn’t mean pretending to enjoy the discomfort or pretending that everything is going to be okay. It’s just a reminder that struggle bears fruit. If you’re struggling to wait, this is an opportunity to learn about patience. If you’re struggling with bad news, it is an opportunity to learn about your strength. If you’re facing rejection, it is an opportunity to find your own worth. Growth always follows struggle.
So the question is, Are you willing to see what the opportunity will bring you? Or would you rather throw the towel and sit down?
Struggling is a sure sign that you are moving forward because when you are struggling, you are pushing yourself to do well and reach that finish line. Those last few reps in the gym when your body hurts, and those last few breaths as you’re about to complete your first 5km run are the progress indicators that you’re changing. Someday, you won’t have to struggle to run 5kms because you struggled and put due effort to become better than you were.
Struggle is your best teacher. It shows us whether the goals we are pursuing truly matter or not. If you’re struggling with something that doesn’t matter, it will become evident at the first sign of trouble. “Do the best you can until you know better. And when you know better, do better.” — Maya Angelou
Are you living the life you wanted? Maybe it’s time for a change. Maybe it’s time to struggle. Stormy days will come. The greater your storm, the brighter the rainbow. Not all of them come to disrupt your life, some come to clear a path.
“It’s not about waiting for the storm to pass but learning to dance in the rain.” — Vivian Greene
Don’t give up when you’re struggling. Don’t avoid it. You’ll stumble and tumble. It hurts, I know. But it will hurt more knowing that you’re going to give up after struggling for so long. It will be the greatest act of self-sabotage. A person who falls down is stronger than a person who never starts to run. Things that come easy, have less emotional value. But when we work for something, when we struggle, it truly feels ours. Continue your climb. You may be only a single step away from the summit. You’ll never know if you could make it if you stop struggling.
So why would you deny yourself that chance?
There’s much left to achieve. There’s much left to build. I know I will be struggling throughout my dreams. But if I didn’t, I think I wouldn’t appreciate it as much as I want to.
I hope you keep pushing yourself today. Just keep showing up, keep progressing. Weather the storm. You’ll move forward, slowly, but surely.
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Fight your way up like a small seed of a tree that at first, felt threatened by the rain and the wind. These perils are what makes the tree strong and tall.
