Someday It Will All Make Sense.
The thing about pain is that it teaches us more about life than happiness ever could.
When you’re in pain, you see everything with a filter of sadness. It doesn’t make sense because all of a sudden, you realize that the sun and the moon are always alone, and the vast sky has never been gloomier. The melody of rain is now just a static noise that brings too many thoughts to your head. As the memories hit harder, you fall deeper. And even though it seems like everything is different, nothing has really changed. With happiness gone, you go back to the most isolated and honest state of survival that makes you uneasy and scared.
Pain dances at the fingertips of change. It slowly creeps in. We know something is different but we don’t realize that something is changing. It’s only when we look back that we realize the difference between then and now. We don’t know that the moments we have just lived define us. We don’t know that the moments we are living right now are the ones we will miss one day. Maybe this is what it means to grow up. To know that as we grow, things will always keep changing and there will always be pain associated with that.
Maybe you asked for roses, but instead, you got thorns. Maybe you wanted paper, but what you got was torn. You wanted joy, but you got despair.
You don’t get what you want, but you get what you need.
Sometimes good things fall apart to make space for better things to come together. Every story has an end, but every end gives birth to a new beginning. It will all make sense.
Why you have to let go,
Why you have to fall and crash,
Why you have to wait,
Why some things need to come to an end,
Why no matter what you do, it will never be enough,
Why you have to go through what you’ve been through.
One day, it will all make sense. And you’ll realize, it happened for a reason. The nights when tears were shed like a stream of water crashing onto sharp rugged rocks will be the same nights that will make you a wiser person. Those would be the nights that will teach you not to settle for anything less than what you deserve.
One day, you will realize that you are grateful to all the people who let you go so that you could find that one person who wouldn’t. That pain will be the reason why you will fight for your happiness, for a better life, for answers, for closure, and for other things that you never dared to ask before.
One day, you will be thankful for the things that didn’t work out because when you’re old, sipping a cup of tea in your wheelchair, you’ll realize that everything that you’ve been through leads you to where you are meant to be and with the person you’re meant to be with. That it was pain that made you a better person and humbled you.
You will feel pain, you will lose. You will make mistakes. But someday, somehow, it will make sense. When it does, you will be at a completely different time than the one you were in when you were trying to figure things out. The pieces might make sense, but they will no longer hold the same meaning when you really needed to understand them. That “someday” may not be today or tomorrow; and “somehow” may not be the way we’d want it to be. However, it will come.
You shouldn’t see too far into the distance. Your life is not a single grand plan in motion. You are thousands of stories written together into a single book.
You will begin to see life without the filters of sadness again. It won’t be hard forever because nothing is forever. Somehow life will start seeming more beautiful than you can remember and the smell of rain in the air will excite you beyond measure, again. The world proves to us each day that happiness exists all around us and we just have to make sure we do not blind ourselves with our own filters.
It may look like autumn right now, but spring is coming and life will find a way. Give yourself time. It will make sense.
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