I stumbled on this article from a link from a Fusion article on sex apathy . . .
And honestly, it was all a surprise. I am a cis woman, celibate, and I pretty much just don’t engage much with men. I don’t have to hate them, or focus on them, or defend myself socially from them (much), because I simply disengage at the point that they become tedious, unpleasant, boring, or they start waving red flags. I don’t choose to negotiate with them or explain to them, or educate them, or any of that. Trying to do so is so tedious and boring and stupid and unnecessary.
I am still civil, coolly friendly, chatty with everyone in mixed company — except when someone has earned the right to deeper disengagement. I simply do not choose to get to know any guys well enough to discover the ways in which our woman hating, woman minimizing, woman oppressing culture has affected them. And in the odd moment that they go ahead and reveal it, I just roll my eyes and take a few steps back.
Now, clearly, if one earns ones income as a sex worker, disengaging with tedious, unpleasant, boring men is probably just not in the realm of possibility. But for many of us, it may be a good strategy. It works for me.
When I was engaged in career, all my supervisors were women. I now live in housing where the manager is a woman. Now, I know not all women can make these kinds of choices, for many, many reasons, but probably many of us could . . .
Perhaps if we could just quit engaging, enough of us, maybe things would change . . . but really, if nothing changes but our own lives, maybe that is a good start . . . .