A funny person answers serious questions: Mike Glazer

I feel lucky to know a lot of funny people.

Some I’ve met through my work at The Onion, some through my time here at Slackjaw, and some just through Twitter or at karaoke bars.

The thing is, while we spend most of our time being funny, my friends and I do like to get serious from time to time. It results in some really fulfilling, inspirational conversations.

So consider this the first in a series of interviews with funny people you should know about, discussing things we can all relate to on a deeper level.

Mike Glazer

Say hello to Mike Glazer.

Mike Glazer is one of the funniest people I follow on Twitter (Follow him!) He’s a comedy writer and performer and has a fucking phenomenal beard.

My questions and his responses below:

Mike, what scares you? Like… really scares you?

Fuck the ocean. Fuck it. We left it long ago because we don’t belong there. My anxiety goes off the charts when I think about getting in the ocean.

Also being a FAILURE in life! What if I never have a career in comedy? Will I want to be alive?

We all feel down sometimes. What do you do to perk up?

I go on long walks. It’s so easy to forget to go outside. Exercise makes you feel great. Any exercise.

What’s a challenge that you’ve faced that you’re proud to have gotten through?

Being self-motivated is tough when I think no one cares, but I gotta keep making stuff. Anything. It feels great to keep creating and finishing ideas even when I don’t have it in me to do it.

Is there anything you really want right now, at this moment?

I’m so thirsty, so so thirsty to write for Late Night. I spend a lot of time writing jokes and bits alone in my apartment. Practicing so I can hang with the veterans when I am hired. I’ve had stuff from my packets end up on shows (through parallel thinking, no one has stolen anything), so I know I can write for them right now.

I want to create my own show too. It is very weird. “The Far Side” crossed with “Deep Thoughts”. So, ADULT SWIM call me!

More than anything, if you stripped away all of the comedy career goals I’m horny for, it comes down to validation. I want validation; that I’m talented, funny, worth people’s money, entertaining, my ideas are interesting, people like me. That’s what it all boils down to. I need validation so I feel like I’m contributing to the world in a positive way.

What do you think is the meaning of life?

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, I don’t think there’s a meaning of life, but there is a point. The point is to reach your highest potential while making the world a better place. Your goal should be to LEVEL UP.

Just like a video game we can grow more powerful, more talented, better versions of ourselves, and every single day we must work towards that.

I like to imagine reincarnation is real, and life is like a video game. Each time you’re reborn you either get closer to self-actualization or further away, and it’s all based on a point system (like Soul Points) so the harder you work, the kinder you are, the more you stand up for what you think is right the more rewarding this life will be. When you die, and your soul goes back through the body factory you’re either fitted with an upgraded mind and body or you’re not. It depends how you use this current life.

There is so much shitty news in the world. As a funny person, how do you deal? Any advice to stay positive?

I tell myself I can do whatever I want. There are no rules. We think there’s rules, and people will care, but there aren’t and not many will. You can do whatever you want. BUT, it better be kind and help humanity in some way. Give people a better day, make people smile, you must not be destructive. Balance the cruelty in the world with your own positivity, with your own kindness and honesty. There are no rules so get out of your own way and be the best YOU you can be. You deserve it.

There you have it…

Thanks to Mike Glazer! (Again, follow him on Twitter!)

For more all-things-funny, follow me here on Medium or on Twitter.

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