Great read, Shea, but you had one large oversight. After taking on his new “wrong-doer” persona, Bad Boy Steph Curry forms a close relationship with fellow Klay Thompson peeled-off goatee wearer J.Cole.

Steph walks out to “Crooked Smile” before every game because it’s the “bad boy of pop-rap collaborations about accepting your faults and loving yourself.”

The relationship, however, is short-lived after a particularly violent Russ Westbrook dunk that literally decapitates Zaza Pachulia. Hollywood Cole leaves the arena visibly shaken and vows to never attend an NBA game again.

The world rejoices.