Mean Girl Coaches & Devious Sales Pitches

I was on Facebook the other day and in the news feed I saw this question “What are your thoughts on the coaching industry” by a friend of mine who also is a coach. I admit I did not comment on the post, rather I sat with it read other comments and it got me to thinking.

Why in the world do I keep holding myself back, what am I so afraid of and in that moment I was slapped upside my head! When I have stepped out of my comfort zone and challenged others with my point of view or dared to go for it I have been unfriend, deleted, removed and blocked from groups. I have tried to opt-in to other people’s free offers to learn that no matter how many times I enter my name and email I am not getting anywhere, so I use a different email and low and behold the freebie comes into my email.

So, here it is. My feelings, my thoughts, my experiences and point of view without a filter. I am so done with the catty bullshit that is going on in the coaching industry. There are groups of women who have turned being a leader into a power trip, a selective mean girls group, and when you challenge them, ask them for feedback or to explain something they get on a power trip and step onto that high horse of theirs. Well, fuck you is what I have to say.


A year or so back I hired a virtual assistant from another country and during a business meeting we were discussing ideas on theme days, theme emails, and blogs. I followed this leader and loved her style, her emails, etc. I knew I would be going into some medical care for about 6 weeks and wanted to set up a team to handle things for me while I was on limited availability.

I gave my virtual assistant the email styles I like and some of the ideas that I wanted to infuse and I asked her to let me know when the emails were ready so that I could look at them and approve them before she scheduled them.

I did not micromanage my virtual assistant and the communication became twisted and emails were sent out and I had not pre-approved them. By the time it was brought to my attention that this happened the consequences of this mistake had already began to spiral out of control.

My virtual assistant who setup the email sequence for a Monday Mantra made me a similar graphic as one of the 4 people that I shared with her that I like their style and tone, next instead of using the content I created or waiting for the copy writer to send over the emails she changed a few words here and there and rewrote some stuff but it was still too much like one of the coaches I admired.

What happened next is almost shocking, I didn’t discover anything about this for a couple of months. When I realized that I was no longer in one of the groups on Facebook that I loved, I reached out to the admin of the group and the response I got back almost knocked me over.

“I’m sorry Patty you have been banned from the group because you plagiarized coach so and so. We reached out to you several times but you did not respond.”

You can imagine my horror when I read this why didn’t anyone tell me about the email or what had happened. So, I quickly responded to Jane Doe who sent me the email.

“I’m sorry, I am not really sure what you are referring to. I’ve been out for a while due to some health issues and had hired some temporary staff to hold things down for me. Could you please share with me exactly what happened, when it happened, and please send me the email where you reached out to me as I have not seen anything in my old mail and the trash on my email is empty.” Thank you, Patty

Within a matter of moments Jane Doe replied with “Patty, you sent out 3 emails to your list 3 weeks in a row that contained a Monday Mantra which was a plagiarism of coach so and so. We reached out to you and you never responded”.

At this point I was pissed and went to the two virtual assistants in charge asked them what happened and why no one said anything to me and ultimately fired both of them. I reached back out to Jane Doe and explained to her that I did not do this, that I discovered that through miscommunication and language translation that a virtual assistant on my team did this and has sense been fired. I again asked Jane to forward me the sent email that first mentioned this problem because since I didn’t answer they kicked me out of the group and have since shared this with others, trashing me in the process.

Jane Doe’s reply. Nothing. I to this day have never heard from them, I do not have the emails that were sent out since the virtual assistant deleted them as if the task never was done, and I still have no idea what really happened.

To me this whole experience was bullshit. If I did something wrong I will own it. I will admit it and I will be held accountable. But when I asked for someone to share with me the proof that they reached out to me, that this happened, because of the circumstances I could not trace what happened RESPOND. Don’t just block people, ignore them, and furthermore what kind of coach is this woman, she preaches about mindset, questioning things, voicing your opinions and doing the right thing.

I did everything I could to make it right, to find out what happened and over a year later still no response, shameful. To this day a part of me wants to find a way to reach out to this woman but how when for all I know the staff member who claimed to get me the information I asked for never did could still be there.

Have you seen and heard those coaches out there shouting that they made $20K in 5 days or maybe $35K in 30 days? These coaches are feeding off the fear of failure, the frustration of lack of income or growth in your business. Many online entrepreneurs find themselves caught up in the glare of this shiny object that they don’t see the fine print.

It’s like watching a commercial where you could be driving this brand new car for less than $200 per month, but that small ass print at the bottom or the voice over that is on fast forward so you can’t make anything out but the business is legally covered that is what these coaches are like.

I’m not saying it isn’t possible to make this kind of money in this short of time, what I am saying is use your head people. As an online business owner to create those numbers you MUST have certain key elements already in place to put up these numbers. The other piece is right now there is a trend called “booked income”, what this means is that someone signed up for a program, signed the contract and may or may not have paid anything, but the coach will count that as income. Just because someone promises to pay doesn’t mean they will, this industry as a whole has a vast amount of charge offs.

Harsh reality is this, if you do not have an active email list, an already active social media following with people who like you, follow you and may have bought some of your products or downloaded your freebies, and have past or present clients to reach out to don’t expect to make $20K in 5 days or $100K in 30. Hard fact is unless someone pays you and that money is in your account you haven’t earned or can count it in your sales goal. What you receive funds for is what you made, period.

You will hear see how I did this or that with no list, no Facebook Ads, no website, and you are thinking I want that, or that is me and I need this. Take a step back if you are making a decision out of fear or desperation prepare for disappointment, prepare for the “oh this is bullshit” moment you will have.

There are honest, no flash, no gimmick, coaches who care more about you than shouting out how much money they make. If you have to shout out how much money you make to get clients what does that say about you? If you have to block people rather than get to the bottom of an issue what does that say about you?

More to come another day….Patty

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