who am I without my medals, certificates, awards, and ribbons?
Growing up in a household and environment that cares too much about academics and education is what keeps me awake late at night. The expectations from everyone to do better wrecks my soul, heart, and mind.
who am I without my good academic performance?
No matter how hard I try to fit in like everyone who is naturally smart, I always get left out because I was only made to be smart. It’s so hard continuing to live a life surrounded by people that only expects more and more from you, they never get this satisfaction so in order to fish out the words “I am proud of you.” and “you’re doing great" you will have to dig out the deepest parts of your soul in order to perform like a doll in front of many people, a doll that is perfect from head to toe.
But no matter how hard I try, it will never be enough.
Oh how hard it is to hear words that are soothing to our soul, words that are gentle and hold us close reminding us everyday that we are trying our best and that it is enough.
Spoiler alert we will never be enough in their eyes because they only see us as failures that are trying to get academic compliments.
