Learning Korea(n)

Haven Kim
Haven Kim
Sep 6, 2018 · 3 min read

“This is my first time in Korea”

I preface every conversation with every local with this sentence. Fearful of the rumors I’ve heard in the states such as “Koreans are prejudice against Kyopos (Koreans who were born and raised in another nation)”, “Koreans will stare at you if you’re dark”, “Korean will look down those who are Korean by heritage, but can’t speak Korean”, I used this statement to gain empathy points with those that I’ve met. These things worried me because I was victim to all of them: A dark Korean-American, born in the states, and terrible at Korean.

While I never struggled with my ethnic background in the states, I found myself having to explain who I was and how I was brought up to store-owners and taxi drivers. Back in the states, I was a proud Korean — surrounded by friends who share a similar background, and in an area that didn’t lack sullungtang when I craved it. However, when I arrived and familiarized myself with the environment, I felt distinctly American. To anyone else this realization shouldn’t be a surprise. I was born in America and grew my entire life in an American system consisting of education, culture, and media. Yet there was something that I still desired — to be accepted by a culture that has influenced the current society I live and participate in in the states.

This desire brought me into conversations with taxi drivers, cafe patrons, store-owners, and anyone else who loves to try their luck in communicating at a 1st grade level. We would share about places we’ve been to, hobbies we enjoy, and the passions we have, connecting the dots with the little Korean I know. I shared about my family background, through the journey my parents made to have me — the only member of my entire lineage to have been born in the states. They would affirm me, telling me even being able to communicate in Korean is a feat in itself, given that I’ve never been in Korea. And while I didn’t uphold their affirmation, I added it toward my motivation to learn the language properly as I return home.

The weird looks of confusion and disappoint that I expected to receive by locals only came when I accidentally sat in the elderly/pregnant seats on the subway. Instead, those moments of conversation were encouraging and enlightening, helping me understand myself and my mission. I realize prejudice and mocking I expected, came from Korean-Americans back home, who have proficiency in both English and Korean. Due to their familiarity in each language, they usually don’t see the difficulty in connecting these sides of the globe, mocking those who can’t help having an American accent. I’m not exempt from this prejudice, but now I know how we can build one another up in this way.

Learning Korean is a new goal I’ve placed for myself. Not only to learn the language itself, but also to learn the culture and stories that has been built up for centuries, ultimately allowing me to have a life in the states. America, marked by freedoms and dreams (and a choice to join the army), can’t only be a part of my cultural identity. I believe it’s now my obligation to my parents and my family to learn Korea and it’s culture, which could very well have been, my own.

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