The Humbleness, Beauty and Innocence In Ignorance

I see her everyday.

She walks like she has the world on her shoulders, but only a handful know that her world is not sophisticated like yours or mine. She talks with a tingling voice with a sparkle of mischief and love in it. Her eyes always linger, looking for that bit of love, attention and care that makes her world.

When she sees an ambulance flying past with blaring sirens, her eyes close. Her palms come together in a hearty prayer for that stranger’s speedy recovery. Her eyes blur with tears, and looks at me saying “what if that was someone I love and care? I would be lost. Whoever his/her family is, they must be feeling the same way. I don’t want them to feel them that way”. Her stare wants me to say “it’s okay”, so that she can relax. And I do and begin to wonder, how on earth is she like that?

She says “hello achchi (means grand-mother in Sinhala), you look beautiful” to a white-haired woman every morning. The grand-mother returns a toothless beautiful smile and says something totally irrelevant. After living almost 100 years and the grand-mother cannot hear well and cannot properly process what’s heard. She doesn’t care — she still talks to the grand-mother, strokes her hair and has a conversation with her. Although, there’s no meaning to what they converse, it makes the a cool breeze on the grand-mother’s boring life of sitting on a wheel-chair. Sometimes, she eats her meal sitting next to the grand-mother, keeping her company. It’s just beautiful to watch how she talks like a child without a care in the world whether what the grand-mother says is insulting, provoking — grand-mother sometimes think she’s a house maid.

You’ve guessed wrong. She’s not a kid. She’s a beautiful girl lurking close to 30 with a body that has the right amount of curves. Being raised by somewhat wealthy parents, she had what’s needed for a comfortable life. She has excelled in her studies. She works real hard to thrive in whatever task given to her and she doesn’t believe in doing things to be “okay”. She wants them to be perfect. A trait which sometimes put her under immense stress but she emerges victorious often than not. I have only heard good from her superiors and employers. Even from the ones she doesn’t like.

She is so modest, that makes one wonder where is that ego and attitude that a 30 year old normally has. For instance, she tries so hard to help others and sometimes gets hurt and exhausted in the process. When she cries, she doesn’t listen to reason. It feels like the world has ended. Yet, she forgets it the next day and picks herself up like nothing happened.

I can go on and on about her.

Despite all of that, she thinks she is stupid, cruel and good-for-nothing. She always second-guesses her hard earned achievements and attempts to do good. I used to think she is diffident. But I have never been so wrong in my life. The more I spend time with her, surer I become.

How can she be so pure? How can she forget a bitter incident with someone and remember how her sister forgot to keep her share of milk-rice? Her eyes gleam with happiness when her sister just talks to her after five minutes.

She’s intelligent enough to understand advance principles of Economics, Management and Accountancy. But she doesn’t understand simple physics. She chooses to marvel at your knowledge/understanding instead of paying attention to a single word, if you try to explain to her how friction works.

I’ve never seen someone value people like she does. She loves unconditionally, fights/quarrels hard, smiles innocently, forgets grudges so quickly, cuddles without an end — just like a child.

If she sets her mind on something, she will do it somehow and she will do it right! If you talk to her about work or see her at work, it’s like she transformed into a professor. She knows what she is talking about. She asks you endless questions until she understands your point or you understand hers. She makes people around her work. If they don’t, she really doesn’t pause to care. She does it all by herself.

She’s an obedient lovely girl, and she’s the teacher. She’s a marvelous academic, and she’s the professor who taught her. She’s a tamed lioness, and she’s the trainer.

The beauty of it is, she doesn’t have a clue. She doesn’t have a clue who beautiful, strong and pure she is.

It is the humbleness, beauty and innocence of Ignorance. And I cannot believe that she’s my wife. She makes me want to be a better person, day in and out. I love her. I hope someday, she will learn how great she is, and I am slightly scared that her ignorance will go away. But I know not!