All the roads lead to Medium

Exploring the connectedness of my experiences using Medium as a medium.

I’ve got ramblings and stand alone words written on my being and belongings. Breaking and reconnecting, pigeonholing and publishing are the pillars of my experimentation in self expression. However, when to take out of context actions, stories, words and connections is an out of question process, to start somewhere anywhere is a difficult thing to do; as all the maps will be discovered and remapped along the way.

Plotting my way to my starting point, I pre-assigned many titles for these scrambled words; as I thought laying a couple of them up there to stare at me, would make others flow faster. Obviously nothing is set in stone, and as the last year has graciously showed me, there is nothing more beautiful than experimentation. So if I am to find a writing process shortly after finding my ways back with words, I guess I will pass; as I am not a big fan of defined ways and preassigned maps. Nonetheless, that doesn’t cancel my random need for transparent layering of structure. As I tried to start, the titles went something like this. Actually I don’t recall the different sets I have erased as they were not journey opener material. Being in the middle of a meadow of thoughts, there are all sort of trails that can be taken; I wonder if with every new link I have to make I’ll find the challenge of Medium limiting rather than liberating. For I am to think with my business oriented mind, I would wonder how would it be possible to combine all my identities with one digital entity. Would my passion for entrepreneurship compliment my soul seeking existential behavior ? Is centralizing the sum of what makes me whole; almost whole at least, a path to a consistent identity that I am wandering through? Questions or answers, terminologies that can be assigned based on the lens I am to wear, are spread all over this text. Thus, I’ll give restructuring of my thoughts a break here and hang to one mantra; find the way along the way.

Contemplating all the tabs that are open in my browser, I know that those of my brain will most of the time be merrier. What binds the two compulsive behaviors is having me in common; but besides that, whether these are being actively used or not, their presence is still undefined to whether it benefits, slows or fastens the workings of my brain. Well, the tabs topic has been brought up as I am wondering why would I waste the time I am being paid to work, writing complete gibberish that most likely would be only understood by me. Out of the many derogatory reasons, having a great “boss” who fosters creativity being one of them, I have to say the words have been sitting on my internal checkpoints; after being through all sort of mutations that were fostered by my acts of soft self censorship, knocking on all my doors ready to be told. I have to say they have waited for a quite a long time after i lost all my ways with them. It is true that words waiting to break free is good of an excuse to melt the time away. But the cathartic effect of this internal cleansing is a push button to activate my performance at work; as I grew to believe that the two goes hand in hand. Work is not a task waiting to be crossed out of my occasional google calendar task list, as with everything forced, it can’t go for too long; at least I can’t handle it. Trying to make sense out of my world and work has not been an easy task lately, talk about randomly knocking existentialism on the gates of my soul. I guess the trigger for letting loose was the welcoming whiteness of the medium and the font, but I could never be sure.

Having mentioned my woolly relationship with words, some connections can’t but be made. An unexplainable breakup with my different means of self expression doesn’t bring much memories. Words and lines were my mediums; for that matter, the extensive forms that I could have made with them were not explored for some 5 years. As reasons are alone a meadow of connections, solutions bring a different layer of links. Setting abstraction aside, I’ll use simple words and examples to go back in my journey of befriending words and pencils, empty papers and white canvas, silence and noise and on and off buttons. I guess it is simple, the core of it was falling in love coupled with another creative writing workshop. See here, I took the whole journey out of context and eliminated many factors that could have participated in the change process, which is something very unlike me. Nonetheless with the many instances that led me to him, he had the biggest chunk of the cake. As I try to speak of solutions without mentioning the causes, I believe it is a bit of a tough task. Again, for the sake of the flow, I’ll drop structures aside and wander through. Though I want to lay the ground for my map and recent touch points, speaking of love would take quite a while with me.

To paraphrase, If there is any point from starting with medium that would be to explore the potential of all connected stories and journeys of my daily life. It is one thing to believe it is possible to connect all the dots and another to actually map them out. Till the next point gets matched, I’ll keep placing words everywhere as they will get picked up; sooner or later. One thing for sure, writing the end before digging in had helped somehow this time. I don’t think my words are taking a break any time soon. The seeds of stories that had been laid today would have to be continued when more words would feel like getting out. Till next time Medium.

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