Ah, the Apple Store. All white space and shiny surfaces… *stroke, stroke*

At one table stands a man with a battered and bashed iPad screen. At another, eight ladies with tight white curls and powdery cheeks sit in a u-shape and giggle as they attend a training session. And at the back of the shop, I stand — and I wait. For my turn with a Genius.

And, as I stand, I watch the screens above the Genius Bar.

There’s a piece on phone shortcuts, a piece on highlighting email text, a piece on adding accents to words (voilà —…

Here’s a random thing — and it links industry jargon to dentistry, so please bear with.

My whole face hurts. It really, REALLY hurts. Even the drugs with the red warning stickers on that say ‘Warning: May Cause Addiction’ don’t really touch the pain I’m in. As I rock from side to side like an injured animal, I wonder how much gin there is in the house.

Something is moaning, softly.

That something is me.

The dentist took an X-Ray.

He said he needed to refer me. Deep joy.

Remember who you’re talking to

I visit the endodontist. With a job title like that, you…

Do you send emails from your business? Have a website that asks prospective customers to get in touch? Send direct mailshots? Are you frustrated by the low response rate?

Consider this. Have you ever been to a party and found yourself standing next to the one person who just won’t shut up about themselves? They’re the person who will tell you their entire life story. And give you the director’s cut. While you drink your drink, try to keep smiling and look around the room in desperation.

Don’t be a Dull Doris

Three handfuls of peanuts and a sausage-on-a-stick later you’re still there as they…