Maybe This Isn’t Personal, Maybe This Has Nothing to Do with My Actual Life, Maybe I just needed to write. I think I just needed to write. I think…I think…I think…but WHY?

Heart so broken

So many flaws

So many tokens

Representing our love

It once burned up like fireworks

Speeding through a lacquered sky

Now it’s burned up like a candle

Ashes falling like our last goodbye

I might never fully understand why

I’m pretty sure I’ll suffer for all of my crimes

The thought of you still helps me rhyme

And for that reason I allow you stay on my mind

You let me see your tears

Yeah I even held them in my hands

I let you see my fears

The ones that no one else ever can

Hear, listen to, believe or comprehend

I let you see

And you let me be

And you no longer tip toe in and out of my dreams

But I still feel warm when I see pictures of you and me

Life is so short and cryptic it seems

I’ll never know what it’s all supposed to be mean

I’ve broken a good amount of hearts

But only one has ever really mattered

I’ve been blessed with quite a few “fresh new starts”

I’ve climbed more than my fair share of ladders

I’ve digested and listened to the mouths that chatter

All of the distracting noise and boisterous clatter

Drowning in the visions of us that have been tattered

But I’ll always have your back, in case you may have wondered

I’ll always catch the rain if you become overwhelmed by all this thunder

I’m here, no matter what

No matter what you think

No matter what they say

No matter how empty my words

In this current day and age

I’m only one tiny thoughtless little phone call away

Never, ever, never, ever, not a million years or a billion days

Would, could, or should I ever forget your name

All of your words, mannerisms and compliments

Have been tattooed inside the walls lining my spaced out brain

Your memory will always be there to stay

No matter the weight or shape

No matter the tenacity or strength

That’s just the way I operate

That’s just the way my heart has been arranged

I don’t take away my spirit

It’s just not how I was raised

The crumbled walls and weakened gates

They opened with great difficulty

Became closed off much too late

Why did we let each other in…

Only to burn each other down and disintegrate?

Laughing like a picture

Worth a thousand countless breaths

No description or quantity decided

Just a million faceless deaths

Relationship suicide

I subscribed to pain so deep

Your physical body along for the ride

But your heart was shocked indeed

The tortuous calling of a desire

You thought you found your safe haven in me

All the anguish of the mistakes I made

The largest bruise staining the very mentality

Of an innocent boy with a spotless gleam

So cloudy is the imprisonment

Of unexpected brutality

I can’t even imagine the darkened surprise

That you experienced as a result of we

So sorry. So, so, so very sorry

That is what I will always be.

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