“Ramblings from early 2010- Has nothing changed?”

“The Demons Do What We Wish We Could”

Demons lay beneath me
They’re chattering their teeth
Formulating a plan to feast on me
But they’re still stuck underneath

I kick just like a child
Hoping my leg is strong enough
Just a murderer with a smile
The thievery of selling love

She’s got blonde hair and brown eyes
And one shot and no tries
She’s got one word, and two ears
And no one else quite heard, what she hears

Lamp post body causing emphysema 
The smoke stacks and self devastation

calling you out just like a subpoena 
One match and we’re on vacation

Running rampant, causing headaches
Walking sideways, begging for a second take
Floating slowly, like a snow flake
Raining ruins, she’s a bad day
You got a bad case, you’ve got a bad case

You caught a deadly disease, spreading now
You sound like a liar, keep selling out.

The demons do what we wish we could
They feast on you and they drain your blood
They cut your hair, and dissect your brain
They store their spears in a secret cave

Behind your ear, your vision lost
Your memory seared, and your brain stem chopped
They took your opinions, and set them on fire
The facts are reset, and it all transpires

You become known for your emulation
Who you claim to be, what seems to be in fashion
You become known for your apparent smile
But your teeth are shattering and you’re only a child

You put on dresses and dance in your room
You ankles live in a constant threat of doom
The demons will catch you 
Drag you under the bed
The demons have met you
But you have not willingly conversed just yet

You’ll put on eye liner
Your eyes will seem large
You’ll flutter subtly 
But that flutter flies far
The impression you made
It will be very hard
To separate yourself from the games
That made you a star

And so inside a circus
You’ll wake up each day
You’ll be honing your acting skills
Just by sharing the words that you say
And just like the lion
Used merely for show
You’ll be the stool that gets stepped on
Nobody will know.

-HNB (me) Written on March 5th, 2010

“Willful Disobedience To God”

My ego is just too big for this 
I can’t explain my evilness 
I am not a sole witness 
But I observe what others miss

My heart is just too big to win 
My yearning runs within my kin 
I feel failure underneath my skin 
Disappointment crawls without reason

I choose my battles hypercritically 
Is that even a word? Why don’t YOU tell ME… 
I choose them oh so effortlessly 
It takes so much delusion to become me 
I’m in a pond of ordinary 
They really believe they are somebody 
With one look- I know- you’re nobody 
You’re something, not nothing, but not worthy

I’m not choosing the worthy to stand by me 
I’m choosing the worthy to receive what I need 
More so what I want- but that’s yesterday’s news 
More so what I’ll deserve if I put my gifts to use 
Everybody thinks they’re special 
Well guess what? You’re not 
I am not either, but I’ll make the most of what I’ve got 
Everybody thinks the sun shines a little more in their direction 
Well the sun’s been out for days, and I highly doubt your detection!

You put karma in a box, and it will explode just like your brain 
You put drama in a parking lot, and every car will be deranged 
You leave your momma there to rot, and you will get what you wished for 
You bite the very hand that always bought- and you will suffer what you’re in for

There’s been someone watching over me 
But everyone of us has lost somebody 
So maybe no one even cares 
Maybe I’m just lucky to be here 
But luck runs out, and my faith falters 
My hopes disperse, and I shy away from alters 
Communication is not my friend, when I feel this way 
Dedication is a trend, and it’s a trend that better stay 
Monogamy just like a myth, even though I believe it to be true 
I only see it in my dreams, and when I’m far away from youth

Everyone in my generation, opening arms and closing hearts 
This is a regeneration, of the day Eve chose the path so dark 
God doesn’t tempt us, that is the evil one at play 
God only tests us, and we choose ultimatums everyday 
God unveils him or herself to show us the easy way 
But when we step on God’s toes, suddenly we are working harder to stay 
God unleashes wrath on us, meanwhile showing us thy Grace 
God helps those who help themselves, and only we are whom we can blame 
It is not our parents fault, it is not God’s tests that we have failed 
It is our willful disobedience that wields what we feel 
So stop using excuses for anything you haven’t done 
I need to do the same, and I’ll be filled with so much more love. 
_HNB (me) Written January 28th, 2010

One clap, two clap, three clap, forty?

By clapping more or less, you can signal to us which stories really stand out.