When You’re Not Ready to Put Down Roots
I never thought I’d be the person to break away from societal restraints. I always set my sights towards traditional goals — career, marriage, house, child. Preferably in that order. Forever fitting in with the 21st-century norm.
That was until I took a two month travel holiday to America back in 2015. The bug settled and has never quite left. I also happened to fall in love on that trip, with an Australian that lived 10,000 miles away. We persevered with the long-distance relationship, meeting up every 3–4 months in places like Vegas and Austin. We then lived together in Sydney for a while, fighting shit jobs and battling the expensive lifestyle. We were unhappy so we quit our jobs and agreed take a year out — our one opportunity to travel.
The next step
After five months in Asia and six months in Europe, we were low on cash and missed having a place to call home. So we got jobs, moved to Scotland, and now have a semi-decent work-life balance.
But the thought of this being my life fills me with dread.
This inability to settle is something my head tells me is irrational. We aren’t meant to travel long-term. We’re meant to have a career, get married, buy a house, and have a child — I’ve ticked off the first two, so surely a house is the next logical step.
According to who?
Society.
Are we meant to perpetuate our parents?
I think it’s quite clear that our generation doesn’t follow the whole ‘get a job when you leave school, never leave, then retire 30 years later’ lifestyle. We’re inquisitive, we like to learn, we like to move on. We do a job for a few years and then we seek new challenges. New horizons. So why can’t we apply this to living?
We’re stuck in a generational hole when it comes to settling down. We’re told that we need to buy property early, get on the ladder, stop putting dead money into landlords’ overflowing pockets.
But what if we’re not ready to put down permanent roots?
A remote life
It’s not that I want to solely travel again — Asia was spoilt by my constant money worries and strict spending limits. Instead, I want the dream — to live and work remotely, traveling between places but earning enough to be comfortable and sustainable. I want my campervan to be my place to call home. I want to learn new skills, particularly permaculture and living off the land. I want to write my first book. Most importantly, I want to make this my reality.
If we continue to bound ourselves in what we think is the norm, how can we ever grow? The first step to being happy is to break free from what makes us unhappy. We spend way too long dreaming and ‘planning’ the life we want. We ‘settle’ for second best. It’s time to put our own happiness first instead of sitting back and letting society decide our future.
