Defying Gravity

Hayley Harris
Sep 5, 2018 · 4 min read

Adrenaline floods my insides as the airplane ascends at departure and descends at arrival. Though I only find joy of that serendipitous feeling for a moment — or two moments in fact — the one that will never match nor surpass is the feeling of being in the air.

I used to be afraid of heights.

But now I know

the higher you are

the more you defy gravity.

I’m thinking now of my fearlessness being suspended in the air may reveal something on a spiritual level. One can only guess or make their minds believe a feeling like that to be true, but why doubt it?

Stillness is the language of being in the air, and I have learned how to communicate with it. What better moment to take the opportunity to center yourself, check in with yourself, be with your thoughts, while in the air — as it’s also doubles as preparation for what waits when you land and organizing what you’re leaving behind.

Waiting + anticipating subsides as I look out the round, wide open window resisting its heavy lid, and I could gaze for hours without the existence of time functioning in my mind.

A sky view tells of the infinite, and it feels natural to be above the clouds.

A week or two ago, I commented on a friends IG post. It was a poem about clouds and I wrote “Clouds look weightless when traveling next to or above them. It’s pretty sensational that the way you look at them changes through a physical perspective.”

He responds “While they themselves are also changing… like the cloud might be different by the time a plane or helicopter gets high enough.”

To me he was saying, even in the air, clouds still transform and change their shape. My perception of clouds seems to float by in the same form; when looking above I’m able to catch the clouds change form as quick-slow as they go. So, I’m not sure how it’s not the same when right next to the fluff. Maybe it’s a trick to the eye or a game of the mind. Though my glasses may aid in clearing my perception I feel my eyesight strong enough to understand what a thick window separates me from.

I’m quite content in picturing myself there while gliding among the clouds, face in window, bum safe in seat, mind traveling beyond my physical casing.

My imagination is not barred because my body is riding in an aircraft. For a short period, I part ways with my reality. I know when I am zoomed out everything just gets to be, including me. It just is.

This, I find peace in.

I now have comprehension to why I crave to stay 35,000 feet or more in the air. The earth beneath me appearing at peace, pace of the day reduced to mph I’m not sure how to measure on the appropriate scale.

I like the reminder of knowing I am only miniscule in the grand scheme, I am nothing in this large aircraft because I do not control it. The sky does not know I travel among its parts and the earth has little knowledge my feet no longer trek its paths. Knowing this also makes me feel special, having a connection to nature in a way that’s not smothering.

Sometimes I forget about how small my world is. I congest myself in my little bubble and make haste to the importance of only me, and forget all else. At times that’s OK, but always — well it’s problematic when shrinking something too miniscule when it should be magnified — which means there’s a whole world proceeding even when I don’t pay attention. Shall I say, it’s a little easier to breathe while being still, far away from the ground although the access of air granted to us is man-made air conditioning. I think about how I feel like I have more room to move while up in the air vs all the roads, dirt and gravel I can walk on free-range, while sitting coach with the two other sets next to me filled.

The contrast of being “cooped up” in a large machine and being free to roam on my two feet may seem like a disconnect of any comparison. But, I think about it like this: whatever you practice on earth can continue on higher altitude; even better to pack it with you.

Keeping gratitude, patience, and joy with you helps to keep your state of mind prepared and ready for the impending destination — especially when traveling home from a place which changed your life. That reflection will aid in putting all parts of your life in order and perspective — like finding appreciation for the foundation you have to come back to between turbulence and delays; somewhere safe to be to plan your next adventure.

Being in the air not only reminds me of my temporary placement but my appreciation for that same temporary moment. The journey is as important as the destination.

Sweet and sour solace is found in landing once more to an alternate reality broken through my relative daydreams — yes — sour for the fact I’m grounded; sweet for the adventure awaiting ahead.

I am antsy to be in the air again, but I can continue to practice stillness until I take off again.

Hayley Harris
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