Reasons Why I Quit Medium in 2018
I did the thing I never thought I would do. I ended my love affair with Medium. It was a hard decision to make, but there was something necessary in the decision. Like a codependent relationship that had reached a level of toxicity, I needed a clean break. But there were several reasons for the decision.
A Writing Challenge That Broke Our Hearts
Last year, I poured my heart out to Medium, writing and sharing more than any other time in my life. I found an amazing community that pushed me as an author—something I’m eternally grateful for and has led to its own success beyond Medium. I found I was excited to write again and it felt good to be participating in such a diverse group of stunning creatives.
So why the months of silence?
I experienced the most disappointment after the winner was announced at the end of the writing challenge. My legitimate response was, “Huh?!”
I want to make it very clear: I wasn’t disappointed for myself. I was disappointed for the mega-community of absurdly talented writers who had spent literally thousands of hours engaging, supporting, revising, editing, commenting, sharing, and critiquing each other’s work who deserved this insanely beautiful grand prize of a published book. I understand a name was pulled at random per the rules, but this was a new definition of random. It was an anonymous name in the community. Someone I and many others had never come across in discussion, never saw in the comments of other community members work, never personally interacted with, and quite literally had never seen before.
I loved the challenge because it kept me accountable. I loved the challenge because it pushed me forward in my narrative and allowed me to hone in on a voice I thought I had lost. I loved the challenge because of the incredible writing I was exposed to for over a year. I love the challenge because of the quality of work being published on a week to week basis. It pushed me to publish quality work of my own.
But as it turns out… completion and submission were the only requirements.
Participation. Engagement. Quality of the work.
None of those actually mattered in the end, though constantly encouraged, and it was discouraging AF.
A Funky Ass Algorithm
The hard lesson of “quality doesn’t actually matter” made me look at Medium on the whole. I was seeing less and less quality writing showing up in my personal algorithm/feed, and more “experts” selling their “masterclass” on how their “methods” are the only ones that “matter”.
Excuse my language, but: Fuck. That. Noise.
I came to Medium to escape the Get Rich Quick Social Media Influencer Schemes plaguing Facebook and Instagram. Turns out, they ended up here anyway.
The transition to the Paid Partners Program seemed to be paying these chumps a decent amount for their sub-par writing and cookie-cutter snake oil salesman pitches. Writers I believed in—those who regularly produce quality, meaningful, intelligent writing—were hardly being acknowledged or compensated for their work. It made me want to engage less and I did. Like a bad investment, I was slowly and shamefully backing away from something I put so much time and genuine energy into.
…and then a whole lot of life happened. All at once.
Here are the Cliff Notes:
- After years of trying to attend Camp Grounded and not being in the country long enough to do so, I finally attended a Digital Detox® retreat at the Esalen Institute in Big Sur.
- En route to said retreat, I had a major PTSD episode on a dark and winding road in which I legitimately thought I was going to die. I realized I still have a lot of healing to do from my assault and have since pursued/resumed therapy.
- I married my best friend (again) and paid for the wedding entirely out of my own pocket. Oof.
- I slipped on the train of my wedding dress (relatively sober, mind you) and broke my face in the middle of our dinner reception. To this day, I don’t remember a single thing from the hours of 7pm to midnight.
- Ended up with a permanent black eye and moderate concussion which I’m still experiencing symptoms from.
- We went on a honeymoon/photography tour with one of our favorite travel influencers, Sorelle Amore, in Iceland. Five nights of insane magic I still can’t put into words. We were introduced to twelve of our soul mates and have a retreat planned in Bali at the end of the year.
- We went on a second sunnymoon to Greece. Last year, my mom told me it was her life’s dream to visit the Greek islands, but she chose to be a mother instead. I told the universe one day I wanted to be financially sound enough to pay for my mom’s flight to any destination around the world. I was finally able to do that after everything she’s done for me.
- My brother traveled internationally for the first time to visit us in Ireland (though he spent a majority of his time golfing).
- I became editor and co-curator of travel stories for Pilgrim Magazine. I worked an absurd amount of hours developing the website for our launch on June 4 (it’s beautiful and you should check it out).
- I simultaneously launched the Pen Pals Podcast where we explore making meaningful connections in unconventional places and the unique friendships that often form in our travels.
- But worst of all and something I’m not sure I will ever recover from…
My best friend—someone who shaped me as a woman, friend, writer, and dreamer—passed away tragically in a swimming accident at the young age of 27.
All that in a span of five months.
FIVE. MONTHS!
Even if I wanted to write (and I DO!) where the heck do I even begin?! Life has given me plenty of material, but I’m having a hard time reconciling which is meant to be shared, and which is meant to be kept for myself.
And the stories I am eager to write, what is my intention? Am I sharing for the sake of sharing? What is true impact of my words? How will they be received? How will they make a difference or enhance the lives of others?
Slowly Rebuilding
Like a jilted lover, Medium still found it’s way into my life. Friends would share articles they had written, but because I was no longer a member, I was denied access to their musings. I got a new phone and upon researching apps, Medium was waiting for me in the cloud, hoping to be restored. I’ve taken the silent observer approach for now, but I’m slowly mending that fragmented relationship.
Because coming back here felt like coming home. A home and an energy that I’ve missed despite my creative grievances. Opening saved drafts and revamping words and thoughts from six months ago has reminded me of how far life has taken me this year and the potential for what’s next.
Will I resume momentum of publishing every week?
Probably not.
Will I be here to support the incredible people working towards their dreams and making a difference with their writing?
Absolutely.
