How to Exit Vim: A Layman’s Guide
Cure to an Everlasting Ailment
For decades, curious bystanders have pondered an age old question. It has plagued the likes of those who have thus surpassed the highest echelon of technical expertise, in fields similar to the likes of computer science, physics, & even classical literature.
Hundreds of men & women have died vying for a proper solution. Millions have lost entire hours searching for the much anticipated cure to this vapid ailment.
The disease affects those with the most desire to improve. As they ponder how to effectively traverse the lengths of virtual text with more agility & ease, they unknowingly bestow upon themselves a disease like nothing they’ve seen before.
A promise was made, but a farce delivered. The pursuit of ever increasing gains on productive output leads many to stumble upon the trap of modern times. Once having entered this place of false promise, few ever escape.
“I never even saw it coming. Once I entered, it seemed as if I would never escape.”
— Alan Turing
What is the name of this pestilence of modern virtual text editing? It starts with a phrase as simple as the first word uttered in all of history:
Vim.
Now let us begin. We must delineate a vaccine to relieve the public of contagion. How does one even begin to escape the grasp of a text editor that once opened can never be closed?
A Search for Relief
First, you may try to unplug. Alas, however, this is tedious & wastes much time.
Second, the more clever among us try to command their computational resources to kill the vile beast directly. Alas, they are too late. This is simply not effective on a routine basis.
Third, we reach the final few who transcend the mere mortals trapped in the grip of this purgatorial twilight. A discovery so vast that it has been spoken for ages in tomes & populated web forums alike.
“Everything I tried was just totally inefficient. Dear god, I just could not find my way out.”
— Ada Lovelace
They have found the way out. They have found the final cure to escape what once seemed an inevitable stare into the abyss of death.
With the communication of a single command, they proceed to type in order to escape the hopeless grasp of Vim.
What do they do? Here is the recipe:
Press Esc, then type :q before hitting Enter to claw yourself to freedom.
You now have the cure. Go. Free yourself & move on to greater heights. If you’d like to thank me, simply follow me on Twitter.
