Do 3 person friend groups work?
I have been pondering this question a lot lately, mainly because I have found myself in this particular situation. We are a tightly knit group, I consider them my best friends, and I tell them practically everything. Lately I have found that they seem to be closer. Maybe it’s my imagination or reality, but I have been struggling on how to deal with these newfound emotions.
These types of friendships appear to have worked in the media and on television shows, such as the young trio of iCarly, the vampire slayers Buffy, Willow, and Xander, and the unholy trinity in Glee (Santana, Quinn, and Brittany), however, even within these TV friendships there are always two that just click.
I believe that friend groups of 3 can work, but, due to a busy life or time constraints, it is not always possible for the group to be together all the time. If one group member is busy, naturally the other two will hang out. Friendships ebb and flow, and I believe that within 3 person friend groups, and bigger ones as well, the person you thought you were the closest to may be different the following week. Ultimately, it comes down to time. Who do you spend the most time with, who are you cultivating that relationship with, and who do you trust the most.
These feelings come down to insecurities. My friends have done nothing wrong, and that is why grappling with these feelings of jealousy and disappointment is so challenging. The surefire way to resolve these feelings is to communicate them, and to have compassion for yourself and these emotions.
For me, I remind myself that these feelings are irrational, that my friends care for me, support me, and love spending time with me! If two of my other friends are closer, it’s important to be happy for them, and remember that their bond does not dictate how much they love me.
If you crave that bond, I recommend spending more time with other friends and nurturing those relationships that may be neglected. I have been reaching out to other people I enjoy spending time with to see if those friendships will continue to develop.
I love this article by Megan Cary (attached) that talks about friend groups of 3. I find it very relatable and comforting when I begin to feel jealous and uncertain.