why do we feel emotional during our birthday?

im pretty sure im not the only one who asked this? right? but lets talk about it anyway. like yesterday we were just hanging out with friends or family and we were wearing our happy faces then comes our birthday, boom! we woke up one day crying, questioning our life how far are we from our goals and dreams.

i’d like to say people by nature we tend to focus on whats missing, grading ourselves how fast we get to our goal line, comparing our life to others even our relationships. we dig deep too much with our insecurities and expecting people to understand and when they cant, we get sad. those were just some of the realities we experience during our birthdays specially for people who has a depression history. like me!

do you know why im writing this? it’s my birthday! yeah, that’s right happy birthday to me and i turned 34! i dont know if im experiencing mid life crisis or this is just one of those depressing days when i feel like my waiting game is really annoying. i admire people though who writes about coping with depression with gratitude and happy heart. yeah its true but come on’ it takes a lot of skills to do that. it takes a lot of practise and strong support system to be able to master that. but if in case you’re doin it alone this i can tell you based on my experience. baby, its okay to be not okay! embrace your imperfections including your insecurities. messy can be beautiful too! but there’s one main ingredient in life for those who are like me and its Faith! i downloaded this bible app in my phone and every morning before i open it i always say “oh God what do you want to tell me?” and guess what you gotta believe it, He will really talk to you!

on the brighter side i get to experience two birthdays. i came from Philippines so they are one day ahead than California. so i get two birthday greetings from friends and family. so let me have this toss, cheers!