Today’s Affirmations in Chronological Order

Today is full of energy and potential and definitely not just Facebook.

Last night’s makeup under my eyes is a glorious sign that I am alive and right where I am supposed to be.

I will find a clean sports bra because I am the goddamn adult I was destined to become.

Wearing a dirty sports bra on my walk does not define me.

I am more than the stiffness in all of my leg joints. I am a miracle of creation.

The awareness to take ibuprofen preemptively is a sign of the wisdom life has given me.

I am awake and energized even without this cup of coffee.

I have everything I need to be successful in manuscript revisions.

My awful first drafts make space for tiny creative miracles in revision.

I am prepared to tackle my manuscript revisions, regardless of the massive inconsistencies I found yesterday.

I will master these massive inconsistencies.

I will master these goddamn massive inconsistencies.

The tension in my shoulders dissolves while my focus remains.

All the inspiration I seek can be found within me and maybe on Instagram.

I am perfectly in control of my social media use.

I will fix this god-awful sentence, even if I have to rewrite it a thousand times.

Highlighting sentences to come back to later is a sign of knowing myself.

My life is filled with tiny miracles like a second cup of coffee.

My radiant presence will be fully appreciated on Facebook.

I am entirely pain-free, and my body delights in sitting all morning.

I am ready to attract abundance and a third cup of coffee into my life.

I am at peace with my artistic insecurities.

Financial anxiety is the universe cheering for me to keep going.

The minuscule number of humor readers cannot dissuade me from fulfilling my artistic destiny.

Productivity flows through my very being.

The entire history of the universe has led to this moment where I lay down in bed for just, like, fifteen minutes.

I know exactly where the last three hours went. I am in total control of my time.

I will complete … half of what I set out to do today.

My life is full of abundance and alcohol.

The Internet needs another neurotic white girl, and I am the person to deliver that to it.

The world is ripe for my YouTube videos.

My blog is only moments away from becoming a source of bountiful income and critical acclaim.

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