The feelings of unworthiness cultivate a feeling of insecurity. True security in a relationship requires interdependence. It’s the ability to simultaneously depend on your partner, while also being able to stand on your own two feet. To take responsibility for your part of the relationship as they do for theirs, as equals. It’s the ability to be open to their feelings and needs, while working with your partner to get your needs met.
A no-effort relationship is not a great relationship; it’s a doomed relationship. It takes effort to communicate and understand each other. Love takes work. It takes work to expose and resolve conflicting beliefs and expectations.
The quality of your relationship depends on your ability to understand your partner, and vice versa. The secret to understanding each other better seems not to come from mindreading, but through the hard work of putting our partners in a position where they can tell us their minds openly and honestly.