Thank God you snuck in Sally, Gloria DiFulvio—I’ve been hiding under the table since the day before yesterday and could use some company in the midst of these crazy-ass ENFPs! Of course, in preparation for this charming soiree Sally and I have already had six meetings, each one improving exponentially on the last, until we have achieved what we know will be the most memorable event any of these indecisive feelers will ever have felt. Imagine drinking out of mason jars! What are we—douchecanoes?! Fortunately, while you were having debates abouthow one orders from our beleaguered waitress, Sally not only snuck in her person, she also brought the appropriate wine glasses for each course, in order. And the grilled cheese sandwiches? I’m afraid they will be quickly discarded when everyone casts their doey eyes upon the spectacular roast beast (roast yeast for vegans) with burdock root and toasted kale reduction, served with a truffle-infused, black garlic quinoix fritter. Dessert will be a surprise list of unimaginable treats!
As a matter of fact, once everyone has finally acknowledged our brilliant improvements on the meal, they will shower us with hugs and kisses and god-knows-whats. (Icy as we may appear, INTJs sure do love a good hug once in a while, and you ENFPs give by far the best ones.)
By the way, this will be the perfect dinner party and alto has proof: after considerable research, he has discovered that INTJs and ENFPs are apparently the all-time best-possible romantic pair in the Myers-Briggs universe of personality matches! So you’re welcome. Enjoy!
By the way, my socks are too tight too.