Empathy and Great Teams
A few techniques to help teams build empathy
Part of series on team productivity
Empathy is important for great teams. Empathy, not to be confused with sympathy, is the ability to see and understand the feelings and perspectives of others. When you understand what someone else’s perspective is, you can have a conversation with them — not talk at them. Great team members are great communicators, and the best communicators are empathetic — tailoring the conversation in a way that is understandable to the listener.
An article by Seth Godin highlights why many people struggle with empathy. We are often guilty of assuming that other people don’t actually have a different perspective from ours. We think others see things they way we do — if they were just honest with themselves.
“We assume that if our narrative is, “I do this for the money,” that when someone says, “I do this for love,” we think they’re actually lying…. Everyone, apparently, is just like us, but lying about it.”
This insight is so important. The first step to being able to walk in someone else’s shoes is acknowledging that they are wearing different shoes. You can’t develop empathy if you assume people have the same perspective as you.
We form teams because we need a variety of perspectives to come up with creative solutions to complex problems. In this, we acknowledge that we don’t have all the answers and yet struggle to listen to perspectives with potential solutions.
Exercises to Build Empathy
While some people are naturally empathetic, it is a skill that can be practiced and strengthened. When forming a team, encourage people to actively share their perspective — giving other team members a head start towards developing empathy for them rather than hoping it will develop.
We have two exercises that we regularly use to help teams develop empathy. The Robot Exercise is quick and good for people who don’t know each other at all. The Drucker Exercise is more in-depth, but is worth the time investment for teams who will work together for a while.
Robot Exercise
15 minutes
During the robot exercise, people draw themselves as a robot and share it with their team. Sounds super simple, and it is, but there are a few elements that make this work. Do this exercise at the beginning of a meeting before any long intro talks to set a mood of collaboration and teamwork.
How it works
- Break the room into teams of 4–6 people (it can work with larger groups, it just takes a lot longer).
- Give each person a Sharpie and an index card.
- Set a timer for 4 minutes and have everyone draw themselves as a robot holding and surrounded by things that are important to them. Examples: a guitar, chef’s hat, coffee, or a defunct startup T-shirt.
- After 4 minutes is up, give each person 2 minutes to show and explain their robot to their team.
Goal
If you stick to the time limits, this will only take 15 mins. Keeping the time short is important because it prevents people from worrying about their drawing skills. You will hear at least one person say they can’t draw. Remind people that almost anything can be drawn with a circle, rectangle, triangle and line. We chose a robot as the base because it can be drawn with a couple of lines and rectangles. It’s a quick exercise, but it helps people open up immediately and shows them that their team has a variety of perspectives.
Drucker Exercise
1 hour
The Drucker Exercise (adapted from Agile Warrior) takes about an hour depending on how large the team is. Each person takes 20 minutes to individually answer questions before sharing them with the group. The questions should be answered based on the context of the particular team — not as a general skills evaluation.
The Questions
- What are you best at?
What are your top 3 strengths? What are your ninja skills? Where can we expect you to shine? - How do you perform?
When are you most productive? How do you like to work? What workplace things drive you crazy? - What can we expect from you?
What roles are you tackling in this project? What results can you expect? - What do you value?
What do you stand for? Where won’t you compromise?
How it works
- Give each person 20 minutes to answer the questions silently
- After everyone is done, the moderator reads one question and asks each person to talk through their answer.
- Limit each response to 2 mins per person. Once everyone has responded, move on to the next question. Don’t let other people interrupt or disagree — this is what the person thinks of themselves, it’s not a debate. Remind them that the goal is to develop empathy by understanding other people’s perspectives, so it is important to listen to the answers, not prepare for their time to talk.
- After all the questions are asked, let each participant have another 2 minutes to add a closing comment. This can be whatever — a reaction, a clarification — but once again, make sure they have a quiet floor.
Goal
This exercise gets even the most quiet and reserved team members to talk. It also makes people take the time to stop and think about what matters to them. With the excitement of a new team, people often forget to reflect before they jump headfirst. During this exercise you will often hear the traces and pains of the last project that other team members were on — things that irked them, things that went well. By getting those out in the open, the team can learn from them, and they aren’t surprised when someone is “unreasonably” obsessed with the number of code check-ins or the communication cadence of remote team members. By getting old pains out in the open, you have a chance to understand and develop empathy before they turn into new issues.
Personality Tests
1/2–2 hours
Finally, if you are starting or joining a company, taking a Myers-Briggs evaluation and sharing the results can help others understand deeply how you work. These evaluations dive into psychology and can give you a framework to understand yourself. While the results generally don’t change quickly, it can be good to retake this every 6 months to see how you are changing and growing. The 16personalities.com version is a good place to start if you don’t want to invest in a full Meyers-Briggs evaluation.
Remember, empathy is the ability to look at something from someone else’s perspective. Make sure you also understand your perspective.
by Amanda McGlothlin
Chief Design Officer and Cofounder of Headquarters HQ
Headquarters HQ is connecting the digital and physical world. Our mission is to equip and inspire every individual and community to pursue autonomy, mastery, purpose.
Have more questions about how to get a team working well together? Let’s talk: https://hq.services.
