I was married to a narcissist for 12 years — and I had NO idea

These days, the “Saved Items” folder in my Instagram account is full of posts I’ve saved from various accounts about narcissistic abuse. Some of these posts leave me speechless, others leave me feeling empowered, but most often they leave me feeling like “OMG, this all makes SO MUCH SENSE and it explains everything.”

(Note: After writing this story, I decided to start a podcast, so if you want to hear ALL the details, head on over to the podcast: https://anchor.fm/misadventures-narcissist)

Let me backtrack a bit…

About two months ago I was desperately searching YouTube for healthy living ideas in an attempt to get healthier and shed some of the 80+ pounds I’d gained since my separation and divorce a few years ago. I came across a video titled “Narcissistic Abuse Victim — 20 Signs You Have This.” The first sentence of the video drew me in immediately.

It said, “People very high on the narcissist scale are the only people that, with time, appear healthier and healthier in a relationship, while the victim appears sicker and sicker… and, to the untrained eye, a lot of times people don’t realize what’s going on and because of that, the victim ends up being emotionally abused for years and years and then they receive secondary abuse by professionals who don’t…