Yesterday was first day of spring, and I’d just like to share this with everyone:
The perfect relationship isn’t the one where things go the smoothest. It’s the relationship where both parties fully commit to one another.
Love isn’t about that euphoric, oxytocin educed state of mind. It’s about overcoming everything, especially the times when you begin to have second thoughts.
Here’s an exert from a letter I’ve written a long time ago:
I think I’ve figured it out. Why love can mean so many things, and why no one has a clear definition of what it is.
Yes, love is abstract, but not because there isn’t a single word, or action that can describe what it means. Love is the summation, the “umbrella term” for the strongest positive emotions that you could possibly have towards someone else. We commonly use the term love, to describe a passionate feeling, most often associated with romantic desire. We use the term love to describe how much we care for someone, and how much you’re willing to be a part of their everyday life.
I’ve tried on more than one occasion to give you my definition of love. But as I’ve just mentioned, love is an umbrella term meant to categorize all of our feelings for one person. Which means, love can mean different things towards different people in your life.
Therefore, you will almost never be satisfied if you actively seek and expect your definition of love from someone else. That’s why, much like the article you shared with me before, love is a choice, not a feeling. You shouldn’t go looking for love, because while you are infatuated, your definition of love will easily mold into the person you think you see before you, as if you took a snapshot of your ideal person. As soon as that person deviates from who you saw them to be, you snap out of your trance, and you start to wonder what you ever saw in them. Another person will wander into your life, and the process is repeated.
If you shouldn’t be looking for love, then what should you be looking for? Look for someone you would never hesitate to help out. Look for someone you know you can always count on, someone who won’t judge you, or think you are any less than themselves. Look for someone who will always have your back, no matter how much you have pushed them away, or no matter how much pain you’ve think you’ve already caused them. Look for someone who will promised their undying servitude.
I know I left out things like, “look for someone who makes you happy, or someone you look forward to being with.” and while yes, those things are really important in a successful relationship, you have to understand that half the time, you will end up resenting the person. And that’s perfectly okay. You’re spending the rest of your life with that person, you will get upset with them. You will have disagreements, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s pretty insignificant, because the person you choose to be with for the rest of your life, has also pledged to be your partner, in sickness or in good health. To death do us part.