Do You Have Other Children at Home?
A windowless ultrasound room darkens to a single black spot of light — the Stenographer calls for a radiologist — I am too inexperienced to know this is Not standard practice — I wait, two months pregnant with the first life I’ve
Carried within — all too soon a woman appears and wastes no time getting To work — spreading cool gel all over my abdomen, for the second time — She presses harder and harder until I close my eyes against the pain — she
Tells me to open them again — the stenographer stands by, I begin to cry — The first question the radiologist asks me is, “Do you have other children at Home?” — now I know this is not standard operating procedure — the tears
Stick in my throat, making it hard to answer, so I shake my head from side To side, my cheeks rubbing against the white and scratchy pillow case — “I Am sorry,” she says without hesitation, “We can’t find a heartbeat, probably
A blighted ovum, this soon that’s what it usually is” — the truth hangs all Around, I do not want to leave this room I entered thinking I’d be a mom.