6 Steps for Self Coaching
Self coaching is really about self awareness and understanding. Knowing who you are, what inspires you, excites you AND then, to act on it. In order to act, you have to know, and see when it is happening, what is stopping you. This means an ongoing mindfulness — yes, there is that word.
When I coach climbers, what I am doing is giving them an unbiased observation of their strengths, their weaknesses, their passion, their values and their fears. Then I use the tools I know work to help them act. They then have to practice using those tools as they move forward. I create clarity, mindfulness, hopefully some inspiration and provide tools. Then they have to do the work of applying what they have learned.
To coach yourself, this is how it works….
- Practice mindfulness. Practice getting clear. Meditation, focusing on the nuances of your breath, restorative practices, gong baths, Yoga Nidra. These are all tools that can help.
- Journal. Reflect on what you want to feel in the future you that you are not feeling right now. Reflect on where what motivates you, excites you. Write it in a poem. Draw a picture. Create a vision board.
- What is the story you tell yourself that makes change impossible? You can write your goal 50 times and see what thoughts come to you as you repeat the writing. These thoughts will tell you what you fear… failure, not deserving. Brené Brown postulates it comes down to a couple of major themes… Not I am not good enough, I am not deserving.
- Critically assess whether the fear is appropriate. I know people who choose to climb big walls with no ropes. Fear is appropriate. You could die. But if the fear is more benign, then assess whether you want to hold back. We don’t get to fulfilment through the easy things. Only through the things that take courage to act on.
- Then get clear — I love mind mapping for this part. Rod Stryker showed me this trick. Put the thing you want in the centre of a circle. Draw a line off the circle and write down the first word that pops into your head. Draw another line and repeat until you have ten words or so. As you look at the words, begin to understand what it means in terms of what you want. Let’s say you wanted excitement and that is the word you circled. Then you drew a line — travel, another — friends, — play, — France, — climbing, — time, — money, — freedom… these words might be leading you to wanting a trip to France, climbing with some friends. You want the time and money to go.
- Now that you have a goal, just visualize it. Write the dream down. Create a vision board of the goal. Feel how you will feel when you complete the goal. Keep remembering the goal. Daily. Every time you are going to spend money, feel the completion of the goal. Every time you go to bed, wake up in the morning. Make it come alive for you. Follow that excitement daily.
This is where a coach, or I help. I hold you accountable. I help with clarity and If your gremlins, or saboteurs get in the way of acting, I go to war with you to silence them. Good luck.