Free images from and very expensive graphic design by me.

Dear Headmistress Minerva McGonagall,

I am writing to express my interest in the position as Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I am aware that this position is now open after the promotion of Rubeus Hagrid to Care of Magical Creatures Professor. I know you will be looking for a candidate with exceptional experience with the natural world and a familiarity with magic.

While Professor Hagrid has done an admirable job keeping of the keys, grounds, and creatures of Hogwarts, there are many opportunities for improvement in the area of snake banishment that would…

Heather Meyer

Comedy Writer | Playwright | Performer @HeatherMeyer2

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