I completely understand that is the point of the article. If we feel differently on this, that is your prerogative, but I think the thing to remember is that POC and other minorities don’t have the luxury of just turning it off. They live it every day. I’m queer, but my “otherness” is not immediately recognizable to everyone. Listening takes no effort. If you need to shut down and re-examine your thoughts after some self-care time, that is one thing. I was only saying that becoming immediately defensive isn’t the right action, either.
Tone is impossible in these cases, so know that none of what I have said has been in a spirit of being combative, but rather to expand on what the author already said.