A therapist framed this similarly to me once. I struggle with a being a fat trans/nb person existing in a world where the frame of desirability and sexual capital is narrower than where I am. My spouse has more sexual/social capital and gets more attention where my dating and relationship prospects are significantly lower. The therapist highlighted what the quality of relationship prospects were available versus the quantity. Do I want to relationship with a douche bag or someone who is going to body shame me or any other such nonsense? And folks with more social/sexual capital have the same considerations when it comes to dating/sex/relationships with others.