Realistically, I’m an Optimist
Are you someone who sticks their nose up at ‘optimism’?
I have heard people talk condescendingly about that outlook, preferring what seems to be a more melancholy life view they call realism. But the ‘realism’ they try to contrast with optimism feels like choosing a dark, gloomy view of their lives and the world.
That perspective seems disempowering.
It is a choice to focus on what is wrong and to decide that it will stay that way.
I recently finished listening to War and Peace (phew!). I didn’t think I’d love it as much as I did. In the middle of vast story arches, Leo Tolstoy has a way of teasing out some of the most surprisingly relatable experiences for the characters in his stories.
I think that Tolstoy was an optimist. I think you would have to be, to finish a book that’s almost 600,000 words long!
I came across this quote that I hope never to forget:
“We imagine that when we are thrown out of our usual ruts all is lost, but it is only then that what is new and good begins. While there is life there is happiness. There is much, much before us.”
The ‘realist’ chooses to tell a story about the future.
Tolstoy chose to tell a different story about the future.
Both the common denominator and the crucial difference between these stories is actually choice. We each get to choose the story we want to tell. Tolstoy’s story takes the account that we’re not dead yet and our decisions always mean something.
While There Is Life
Why is it that we question ourselves so. much. Why are we our own worst enemies? We are the last to believe in ourselves. The first to doubt. There seems to be an unseen force trying to teach us a learned helplessness.
That message, the one that says that we’re not good enough, and that we can’t change things. How can it be so obviously false and yet so convincing?
I have decided to choose optimism because there is always something I can do to make things better. I have to remake that choice every day, and often it’s a fight. But it’s my choice.
While I’m alive, I have choice. Choice is the only thing that has ever mattered. Decisions determine destiny. While I have air coming through my nose, I will seek to improve the state of things.
I may fail every single day, but I choose to tell a story that I succeed because I get up and try again. I remember that that’s the only road anyone has ever taken to success.
I don’t want to live my whole life feeling powerless. I am recognizing that truly being realistic means taking into account that I am powerful. The most influential and world-changing people that have ever lived made one choice at a time, just like me. That makes me feel powerful.
You’re still alive. You get to choose the next move.
You choose what story you tell. Tell a good one.