Confessions.

Conscious Ink — Breathe tattoo. love their stuff.

Day 10 — Book Writing/Birthday Month

When you give up smoking

Many things happen.

For one you smell better.

And it all usually comes out

Yer face.

In the way of a cold.

Your body rejecting

All the tar and shit

That are in those things.

And coagulated in your body.

I’ve done this before.

I quit for over 10 years.

I started smoking in college

With my theater friends

And continued after

Mostly socially.

I don’t know why but theatre people,

Artists, are the absolute worst to their bodies.

When our bodies are our vessels, for truth.

Something about really feeling it I think

Or that it looks glamorous or cool.

Fucking stupid.

I started again last year.

Yes Mom I did, I know.

Yes, you can yell at me.

I blame stress.

I blame one friend in particular.

I blame wanting to feel young

Which makes no sense.

But there is no one to blame but me.

I picked it up again.

I loathed it then

and I HATED becoming addicted again.

But there is something about something

Controlling you when you control or are in charge.

A game of will and succumbing.

A giving over to something.

When you normally call the shots.

Yes the baseline of any addiction, right?

I mean it’s a reward for working hard.

They call it a smoke “break”

For a reason.

You get a break from your hard work

To fill your lungs with smoke and tar

And an addictive chemical

That triggers cancer cells to grow in your body

Where they weren’t necessarily before.

Perfect way to reward yourself for hard work.

I say this out loud so that I continue

To pump this faith muscle I keep talking about.

Oh and Dad, the tattoo in this picture is not real.

It’s @ConsciousInk and temporary.

But it’s been a good reminder for me

To breathe. :)

And that I don’t need anything in my life.

That isn’t serving the best of me.

The last time I quit it was on my birthday in New Orleans

With a friend, same friend I blame

a little for my starting up again.

Someone else inspired me to quit

I was ready and made the decision

I’m thinking that this time it will stick.

A birthday gift to me, tis my new year and all.

I’m a quitter and I’m okay with that.

Thank you for giving that little heart below a nudge if you liked this. :)

Written by Head Maven & CEO, Heather Newman, Creative Maven

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