We Choose A Side Based On Our Own History with Abuse

ABC Films, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

Wouldn’t it be nice if there were clear, straightforward answers on who to believe when abuse is alleged in custody cases? As a new documentary about the Woody Allen and Mia Farrow custody saga has the case playing out again in the court of public opinion, I am reminded that there is no such thing as objectivity. Our own experiences shape our opinions, the cultural norms we have been taught and today, our political views.

In this era, we are told to “#believewomen,” what happens when two sisters make differing claims about alleged abuse? …


The pandemic is exposing the existing inequities in our healthcare system and society as a whole.

Photo by CDC on Unsplash

It happened! My husband and I both got our first Covid vaccine shots. We are in our 40s, we have no underlying health issues and we aren’t essential workers. A nearby clinic was allowing anyone over 18 to sign up for appointments for one day last week. The clinic had too many open appointments that weren’t being taken by people who meet the current eligibility criteria.

We live in a rural area in the Pacific Northwest. There are only 30,000 people in our county. The vaccine rollout has been very well managed here. Most essential workers or people over age…


It made things better until it didn’t.

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

I’m a sucker for articles with great life hacks and advice for a better life. This is probably because I grew up in an era when women’s magazines were made of paper, came in the mail and were one of the only sources offering sage advice for a better life. I can’t help it, I always think that one day I’ll read something and learn a tip that will fix all my problems.

It happened, I learned a great tip to improve communication in my marriage. This wise mother of older children explained that she never had her children do…


There is more to racism than the n-word

Photo by Mark Jones — cropped from Flickr version, attribution 2.0 generic license

I’ve always been somewhat of a fan of the British royal family. Like many Americans, I’m curious about them, mostly because we don’t have our own royalty. In today’s complex world an outdated institution like the royal family doesn’t really matter, except it kind of does a little bit. In 1987, when Princess Diana declined to wear gloves when shaking the hands of AIDS patients and later hugged AIDS babies in a Harlem hospital, it had a powerful, positive impact against the stigma of AIDS. So what they do can matter even in today’s world.

As I’ve scrolled through the…


You aren’t a bad person if you can’t forgive everyone

Photo by Felix Koutchinski on Unsplash

When I learned the news of his death, I tried but only for a minute or so to feel bad for Rush Limbaugh and his loved ones. I just couldn’t. All I could think was that I was glad he is no longer poisoning the air waves with hate.

I am keenly aware of just how devastating it is to watch someone you love die from adenocarcinoma. I helplessly sat by as my husband, who never smoked and was 36 years old, slowly died from the same cancer. After enduring chemotherapy many times and a brutal radiation regimen, I saw…


We’re All Getting Screwed

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

This morning I got another email alert with a list of open positions that match my background and experience from a job posting site. I cackled out loud when I saw one of the postings. The job qualifications were so high and the pay was so low it was ridiculous.

In this posting, a small firm is seeking to hire someone with a bachelor’s degree, a professional certification, at least 5 years of experience in that industry, knowledge of several software programs and great customer service skills. It pays $18 per hour with no benefits. This firm is located in…


Why the powerless fall for grandiose antics

By Tyler Merbler — https://www.flickr.com/photos/37527185@N05/50812356151/, CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=98641393

When I saw the image of a man with his feet up on Nancy Pelosi’s desk during the riot at the Capitol on January 6, 2021, I was angry. All I could see was a white man gleefully disrespecting and denigrating our democracy and the first woman Speaker of the House. It was the personification of white supremacy and misogyny. I was livid.

After looking at it many times, I suddenly saw something different in that image: I saw a pathetic man-child acting out. While his privilege as a white man allowed him to illegally enter and leave the building…


Elizabeth from Knoxville thought this was a movie.

Photo by LOGAN WEAVER on Unsplash

When armed rioters illegally stormed the Capitol building I can’t say I was surprised. I was angry and sickened. Seeing the confederate battle flag, a symbol of White supremacy in our Capitol was like a sucker punch to my gut. It caused a physical reaction in me.

I’m starting to feel numb when I see the news coverage in the aftermath of the riot. Our nation is beyond polarized. This stopped being about policy and political choices long ago. Now we can’t even agree on the most basic concepts. …


It’s OK to be pissed off even if things could be worse.

Photo by Dylan Ferreira on Unsplash

It is the first week of January. Time for me to create the year end report of the income and expenses for my business last year. I’ve had such a sense dread and foreboding as I think about looking at those numbers. 2020 was not a very lucrative year for my home based small business.

Then I feel guilty for feeling bad about my pitiful income last year. I am so lucky that my husband, who is the main breadwinner for our family, has kept his job through the pandemic. We have a safe childcare option for our toddler. We…


Intentions don't matter when you’re getting punched in the face.

Michael J. Fox speaking at Lotusphere 2012 photo by Paul Hudson via Wikimedia Commons

In discussions about discrimination, I’ve noticed one of the many things that triggers some White people, especially White men, into extreme defensiveness is the concept of microaggressions. Whenever I’ve referred to it in casual conversations or in my writing, at least one White guy will inevitably comment and “explain” to me that it’s not fair for someone to be upset by a microaggression because they aren’t intentional.

It just doesn’t seem to compute with some people that it’s the impact on the victim that matters, not the intention of the offender. …

H. Elizabeth Falk

Proud lefty, libtard, commie pinko. I write about things the left can be doing to clean up our side of the political divide. Hyperbole is killing this country.

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