Patching things Up
These… Hollow… Empty
As though nothing
Replaceable…
Dusk —
Again
Darkness … Night
Turn into Light
Morning came and it comes
Restart… Over
Beginning…
as if something means everything
and none is existing.
©Heidi Ludwiczak
We tend to start our letters, our prayers, our wishes with Dear Self, Dear God, Dear Sweetheart while these depravation is not saying dear my soul.
“Dear my soul, dear my soul… I stayed blank”
If I am pray-talking to myself but I want to go deeper, I asked: what is it that I truly want to tell my inner energy?
Maybe I want to say; I am sorry for neglecting you, maybe I am too embarrassed to honestly talk to you.
My Soul Replied: “I am just waiting, biding my time”
I spent so many years covering what I want with what I can easily get, I confined under the comfort of a blanket rather than to chase after a storm. There is a constant chatter in my brain it says things that I am not willing to pursue — but I am willing to day dream off.
As part of a practice of patching things up, It sometimes pretends to be marvelous. While the outer scenery of our lives seems so fulfilled with these wonderful gains. With that being the case, you know deep in your soul that you are empty.
Patching your life with things, wants and needs are un-avoidable. We are all feeling the need to attain everything since the need to fill the void are abundant. We ran with chances; once we captured it, then it was quite okay, it was quite actualize for the time being.
Through it you were filled with conditioned happiness, along side the patch hides it self with your smile and cheerful thoughts; covering what is…and what is not. Then it implied the very dreadful and tired-some exposure — — chaos…. back to void again. Truthfully these are all the cycle of patching, it will not justify your inner worth nor your inner freedom.
But I am here to emphatize to those little unmentionable moments that you keep pushing behind, because I feel the same.
The moment you found yourself reading this blog, maybe due to a search for an answer and I’ll tell you: “Dear you, the only answer to your question is relying upon your willingness to try, to listen, to stay still and be quiet.”
“Dear my soul, dear my soul… I stayed blank
and I asked again…
- something came up and I will give it a try. “
Instead of mending the voids, let us be mindful and live in the moment (even for a second). The mindfulness is something you practice and you get better at it everyday. There will be moments that you will feel accomplished, and moments that you will slip — — step back if you need too. Do not force yourself but rather remember…
little steps, slide back to it. Give yourself permission to be free even for a second.
MINDFULLNESS — MINDFULL LIVING
“gratitude, enjoyment, in the moment freedom”
1. Wake up and be still — sit on your bedside, stand if you like. Just know you are there and be still for a few seconds. Do not think of what you are going to do next. Try…
2. Brush your teeth — 2 minutes, put a timer on and just think about every teeth that needs brushing, don’t forget every angle.
3. Shower — starting from your head never neglect any parts, make sure your hands touch every part of your body.
4. Eat slowly — take a bite of your food, they said its best to chew it slowly, only think of eating and chewing.
5. Coffee — just sit drink and enjoy every sip, either its coffee, tea or any other beverage. This is your moment to just taste.
I totally get that these can’t be in your day to day life, but when you find a moment, take advantage of it. It is after all for your own sanity. Because the best you will be is also the best for others.
Take care. Take love. Take you.

Emptiness — Mathnawi V — 1961–1964
Does anyone write something on a place that has already been written over,
or plant a sapling where one already grows?
No; he seeks a blank piece of paper
and sows the seed where none has yet been sown.
Sister, be bare earth;
be a clean piece of paper untouched by writing,
that you may be ennobled by the pen of revelation,
so that the Gracious One may sow seed within you.
