To own what is yours the whole time

Heidi Ludwiczak
Aug 22, 2017 · 3 min read
I own me ~

You can hold me ~

Take me ~

but in the end ~

I Let you handle me

I own me ~

Neither your kiss or your caress,

will ever assigned myself to you

I enabled you to hold me ~

Willingly, Fully

©Heidi Ludwiczak

Of course, I started with a short poem. As my love life is like a poem, Haiku: incomplete, numbered and you decide what it means.

When I say love life, it just simply means, I love people… mentally, physically, in distance, in pain, in family, with expectations, without attachments… etc.,

Some of the people that I choose to love take me in temporarily and dump me like nothing happened, Vice versa — Guilty as charge.

Some people that I chose to love , are connected in blood, hard to forget, to toss out, they just kept on lingering. I knew that they are toxic but there’s nothing really I can do. I tried to stay away, to move away but somehow they find that little peep hole in my heart and they insert themselves back to it again, and I let them.

The word “love” used so often, as if… it is like your social media that you just can’t stop checking … or like boiling water and you stand there and watch it — you know how that goes.

Whether you admit that you are in-love with love — Or you don’t acknowledge that you have the feels, since you’ve been burned more than enough. They (who ever they are) showcased love as this sweet, beautiful, and soft entity. On which is the opposite of that description. When you are in pain, it can be described as “love”, when you are worried you are favoring that feeling. The intensity of sentiments consumes your entirety. Truth to be told you can hardly breath, your mind is raising to possibilities of the worst case scenario and you pace back and forth; because you cannot bear in your head that the idea of just sitting meant that you are not doing anything — In return you are victimize by this wondrous feeling of love. That, actually can be the most uncomfortable, annoying, tear inducing feeling.

You owe yourself a lot of possession of your feelings and your physical self.

You don’t have to learn this right now “I own me” disposition. But you have to remind yourself. Practice makes perfect with everything that you do in your life, same as love, you practice. Inasmuch as every I love you it means you have to accept the bad, with every I love yous — you have to give yourself and your love the space to breath, with every I love you — heartache is inevitable.

Accept that what ever the world of love throws at you — You will survive, cause you “Own you”. Nothing more, nothing less.

)

Written by

Striving to Un-bore life, living with dreams and fearless expectations on “how” my life should be.

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