How to Raise Good Kids?

Heidi Newton
Jan 19, 2017 · 5 min read

Parents prefer raising kids who are well behaved and who can lead god lives; however when it comes to following particular parenting style the question or problem becomes complicated. But it does not mean that you cannot find the answer to the most frequently asked question, because the following article will provide you easy step to improve the parenting techniques. According to the research results on good parents, there are few tips or commonalities that can be narrowed down as the helpful strategies.

Parental Security

When children are little, especially in the first year, the need for secure attachment is fulfilled once the parents listen to children and act appropriately as they show the need for things. This need is further augmented if the child feels heard and understood by the parents’ even when the child is not at the best behavior or if children are going through hard times. This means if the parents are unable to attend or nurture the child from the early age, the sense of grievances or deprivation may increase in the children. For example, if the controlling parents ignore the needs or ignore the attention seeking behavior of the child, the children may grow up thinking that they were less loved or not needed by the parents in addition to fostering negative emotions. This means that attachment to the children is a contributing factor if you want to raise secure children, however, if the responsiveness of the parent towards the changing needs is up to the mark, this factor will act as a dominating factor in enhancing the level of security expected from parents.

Disciplined Children

If children are raised by lenient parents, the results show that those children struggle with self-restraint and they are not very good at understanding or empathizing with others. It means that the children will not be socially acceptable or they may have to face difficulty in terms of making bonds or sustaining friendships. Moreover, if the children are disciplined at an early age, they tend to show respect towards other in terms of controlling the emotions and forming good bonds with the peers. The point of mentioning the aforementioned contradictory cases is to highlight the significance of discipline. However, the role of discipline in raising a child can be the two-edged sword in some cases. For example, if the parents overemphasize on inculcating self-discipline, the children may become rebellious or start resisting the pressure or forced conduct. This means that the quantity of self-discipline in parenting has to be mixed in the parenting style very carefully, because if you go to extreme in terms of harnessing the trait, it may backfire or worsen the situation. In simple words, authoritative or lenient parents may raise children who will not have the good relationship with the parents in terms of taking advantage of the freedom or getting oppressed by the forced or overly discipline environment.

According to the new finding, children prefer not to be limited by things, however, it does not mean that they would retaliate if parents try to discipline them in a moderate way, especially if you have a good bond with the children, they can be taught to understand the significance of putting few limits to help them grow as a person. This means that if you discuss the matters related to discipline and your causes for adding it into your parenting style, the results will be quite positive. Moreover, the self-discipline can teach kids to distinguish between the wants and needs, which are often big concerns for parents. Another benefit of exercising restraint is that it prevents you from making mistakes and children also become grateful in form of appreciating what they have rather than taking the advantages for granted.


It is essential for children to learn to sooth themselves in the case of the crisis or an adversity, but the tendency to sooth or comfort one is developed at an early age by the parents. This means that if you are good at comforting the children from the beginning, they will learn to self-sooth in the future or as an adult. Moreover, if you are somebody who prefers to teach children ways of becoming strong or on their own, leaving them alone to deal with the emotional mess is not a solution. Moreover, it is important to remember that children need a strong foundation of comfort, which can be fostered when they are little, once the base of the children becomes strong, they can learn to handle themselves. The quality of comforting can also be nurtured if the support system provided to the children is robust.

In addition, in the age of anxiety, th quality of comforting in children can help to cope with unseen or unexpected situations in a better manner. To put simply, when the children are young, the role of parents in supporting or planting the feeling or emotions of comfort and care are important. For example, if one goes into the history of children who were not cared for or protected by the parents, most of them grow up to be individual who grapple with managing emotional issues or crisis-like situations. Likewise, attentions seeking adults and children also have the same problem.

Accepting Parents

It has been observed that emotional issues of people can be managed to an extent if the person feels heard or understood by the loved ones. However, if one sweeps the emotions under the carpet, they are bound to disturb the emotional state or they will keep creating problems for you in the long term. This means that if one voice out the emotions and they are accepted by the parents or your loved ones, the matters can be resolved. Moreover, if children feel that they are allowed to express the feelings and they are free to be themselves, the confidence in children is also enhanced in addition to making the connection with parents stronger. For instance, an innocent request of ride on toys can be accepted by the parents or rejected without paying attention to the consequences, which contributes to making the parent and child relationship hard. Therefore, it is important to consider the requests of children carefully.

Learning from Actions

The significance of words and preaching the children cannot be denied, however, the impact of parent’s action is what drives the behavior of the kids. For example, if you have a habit of lying, the children are likely to pick on that. Similarly, if you respect others, children will learn to respect you and their peers. In simple words, if you want your children to be in control of the emotions, it is recommended that you practice taking charge of your emotional state.