Fake Friends, Fake Brother, Fake Fist Bumps. It’s all very real. It’s all my life. I know that being a human we are not bound to one emotion that’s what makes us human. We can be savages or be a philanthropist. We can be a doctor or a soldier. We can be rich or poor. I am none. I am nothing. I am currently bound to one emotion. That is anger. Anger to myself for being a failure. For not being normal. For not fitting in. Anger for not being that kid that makes fun of that kid with disabilities, For being the kid that has to look for someone to sit with every day at lunch. For being that one kid that nobody waits for. For being that one kid that is left out. For being the kid that cries when he is alone right before he downs melatonin so he can sleep for 7 hours right after he slept for 5 hours. For feeling the heat of the tears radiating from the stream that is going down my face. For being that one kid who isn’t referred to by his name but by his brother’s name followed by brother. For being the loser of the family. For being the kid that gives advice about relationship even though he’s never been in one. For being the kid that is too afraid to ask. For being that kid that thinks only about the future. For being that kid that can’t do his homework because he has to sleep in order to boost his mood. I am that kid. I am MAD at MYSELF.

Show your support

Clapping shows how much you appreciated John Held’s story.