It’s been a F*** it day!
Do you get days like this? Days where nothing really works or you seem to just keep standing still and not moving forward?
This morning I sat and listened to a motivational talk and instead of feeling motivated, I cried!! What is that all about!
Is this the start of the next instalment of female hormonal (moanal!) issues that are coming my way? If it is then this part of my 40s will be renamed the ‘F@*@ it 40s’ as this seems to be a predominant word in my vocabulary at the moment! I would not like to say how many times the f word has left my mouth due to irritation and exasperation today. I did not do my training this morning, I have not got much work done but I did read Men’s Health whilst having my hair done so that’s something towards work. I’m not even really happy with my hair at the moment! What is going on I ask myself.
I’ve no specific answer to that other than let’s ride the wave, let it all happen — tears, pointlessness, overwhelm and then look forward towards calm. I know I am going to have days like this. I don’t know whether it is peri-menopausal, probably, but it’s certainly an awareness of me, my body, everything that is much more intense than it used to be.
Even my food has been funny today — a pepper, cucumber, carrot, turmeric humus and two M&S cashew nut biscuits — there you go for balance LOL.
So is it all hormones? Is it a swift reality check and the fact that actually yes I am getting older as in the old that I used to associate with my Aunts and Uncles when I saw them! And yes my son is getting older too and will start needing me less and less. Am I having an empty nest moment? God knows why though because seriously the chances of him moving out when he gets older are pretty remote looking at the price of housing today.
How am I helping myself then to get out of this doldrums — I decided to write about it because I find writing cathartic, and it helps me find amusement in my bouts of mild insanity and mind fog.
I thought I’d share the day as well because you too might be having a F@@@ it day for whatever reason and it’s good to share to see we are all a little bit mad really :)
So resigning myself that today is not the day to make life changing decisions, I continued to watch Sleepy Hollow as it is so far removed from reality that I can chill. Always been a fan of slightly weird stuff on the TV — vampires, werewolves and wonderful weird creatures. I was bought a book as a child and was hooked from that day on and appear to have passed on some of my interest to my son as he is an avid fan of the Walking Dead as am I.
So now I am feeling much more normal. I can look back at today with amusement, nothing can be done about the day. These moments catch me off guard, although I am more aware that they are going to come from time to time because we are all human and hormonal LOL and I know I can get back to my upbeat self by the end of the day because I’ve worked on mindset for some time now.
So what do I want to say today — if there is one thing you can do for yourself in your 40s, I know life begins, but there are moments when you think slow down life is moving fast and what have I done, what have I achieved, where am I going. We lose sight of the things we have achieved, the things we should be proud of because we are getting that bit older and there are new models out there, prettier, possibly smarter, maybe fitter that make us feel less useful and wanted and for some of us our children need us less too.
Right — stop letting your mind wander, reel it in and find three things from today that you can be grateful for.
For example, this can range from I got my hair cut and coloured today and yes it makes me feel human and more female again, or I have two dogs who completely love without question their owners, or I have my fitness and health and it is better than it has been in years.
There you go — no more down beat, back up, kick up the backside and moving forward again but we are allowed to have these off days and just let them out, talk about them, don’t bottle it up because it is just part of life.
Letting out emotion is good for you, however awful it might feel at the time. Don’t fight it, just let the waves roll over as it will pass and it will pass all the more quickly if you talk to someone or even write it down like me.
I am a health coach but that doesn’t mean I don’t have down days too that confound me but I am lucky in that I have worked on my health so that I can pick myself back up quickly because I continue to work on me — mentally, physically and emotionally.
So today’s thought — don’t forget to look after all of your needs — fitness is great for your health, but look after your other needs to — mentally and emotionally and don’t think you’re going crazy, talk to other women and you will find that we are all mad really — only joking!
