10 DIY Accessories for your Shitty Desk Job

1) Get creative with catch-alls! Metallic spray paint can transform anything from an egg carton to an empty tampon box into a chic place to store all the crap people dump on your desk because they’re too lazy to walk the extra hundred feet to the copy room.

2) Fill a balloon with uncooked rice for an easy DIY stress-ball. Have a couple on hand to work out your frustrations, so you never risk coming across as too aggressive in front of coworkers.

3) Washi tape is an easy way to add a bit of pattern to your life! Use it to accent your keyboard, outline your monitor, or mark off the days on your calendar as your youth slips away!

4) Decorate a white mug with oil-based markers, then bake for 30 minutes for a one-of-a-kind piece! A favorite quote, or even your name is a fun way to remind yourself who you are when you start to lose grip on your sense of self due to the grinding monotony.

5) Personalize your computer with a unique desktop image. Choose something that says “I’m fun! But I also work hard. But not too hard! I’m not a square! But I’m also not a slacker! I’m non-threatening both socially and professionally!” Try a photograph of a sunset.

6) Succulents make great office plants because they are hardy and require very little attention. Watch one of the toughest plants wither and die in your dimly lit cubicle, as a daily reminder that you, too, are doing irreversible damage to your health.

7) Reuse gift wrap, or pick up a roll of contact paper to personalize your tissue box. Warm colors are said to have a healing effect, and are great for when you have to be at work with a flu because you don’t get paid sick days.

8) A small fish bowl can be a great addition to your cubicle. Add colorful stones or a plastic plant, and enjoy the feeling of having a fragile living being at your mercy as your boss controls every waking moment of your life.

9) Draw a smiley face on a post-it note and stick it to your monitor to remind you to smile! Add a smiley face to your letter opener. Draw a smiley face on your handset. Carve a smiley face into your desk. Get a smiley face tattoo on the back of your hand. Remember to be smiling constantly or people will call you a bitch!

10) Make a chain out of paperclips for a fun and festive garland on the cheap! Vinyl coated clips add a splash of color, or choose the classic silver variety for a chain strong enough to throttle your mansplaining coworker when you finally snap.

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