“Make up your mind”
3 days ago, I had an oral community medicine exam. Never have I been the first to be examined by the docs, but this time I was first.
There were 5 people in each section with one doctor to examine us. Among the 5, although my number was called later than the rest, I was instructed to get inside the room first.
Felt super anxious, I tried to collect myself in front of the doc. Doctor Amal. She looks 50-ish and quite healthy though I overheard she did say something about bronchitis, but still good at styling. She wore black blazer, I think its a creamy tunic top with long pearly necklace. Several people come and go and greeted her during my oral test, that were the time I rethought of my answers.
She asked about the vital indices in Malaysia. I have not check that apparently.. she snorted with little laughter at her colleague next to her desk. I was embarrassed eventually suggested “Perhaps, next year commed department should make it as malaysian students’ assignment to help us to be more aware of this.”
Next question, nutrition. I have to admit, her nutrition questions were harder. And the next is regarding communicable disease. At this point, she was asking about Hepatitis C, someone greeted her again. Me, anxious as always I blurted out loud several answers in my head…. didn’t realise they have finished the meet&greet, “Make up your mind, doctor”
I startled.
This is the whole thing. That thing she just said, pierced my soul.
I could not make up my mind.
Kak Taskeen was searching for me. She found me at the staircase when I was telling my friends who were next in line of what the doc would asked. I did tell her about how hard my questions were. All she got was “What is the importance of incubation period? And off you can go”.
She was planning to go to Kubri (market where we buy fresh groceries) however she had to wait for Eliz for her confirmation. I was not sure whether to join them or to head home. “Make up your mind, doctor”
….. I am trying.
Look, I had so many reasons to consider. First, it was super hot. I was lazy, but I can’t be lazy because I’d be lazier later. Marshmallow need the carbon litter, but I can buy it later because it’s not like he needed ASAP. Procrastination at its best. It was hot and I’m not sure whether to get on microbus or just walk home. If I get on the microbus, I still have to walk and probably drenched in my own sweat because I can never assure that the bus will be a short trip for me besides, it is always crowded. If I walk from uni, it won’t be as crowded as in the bus and it could help me burn some calories. I need to be walking as much as possible because it’s exam month and soon, Ramadhan so no gym.
“Make up your mind, doctor” … Still following Kak Taskeen, helped her out with her cell with no decision I made for me. Kak Taskeen has a destination and I still don’t.
I felt a little pressure there, I can’t just push myself right away. I always know, I have the ability to adapt to changes. I am open to any possibilities that may happen. It is always risky.
I remember that one day, I went travelling to Alexandria with my housemates and a friend. I realised how different we all are. Kak Filzah who is always thinking in a long term sometimes it is too long I could not connect the points. Eshanie on the other hand is someone who is brave and someone who live in the moment. I can relate to these traits.
On the final day of our travel, that day we almost missed our train. The train system the use here is old fashioned. Our destination is not stated at the LED board not even the train number. All we could see on the board was the final destination where the train is heading, but also it is not stated in our ticket. Eshanie and I, we asked around of which train do we need to wait for.
We waited. 2 trains went by, and this time it should be our train.
We didn’t see our first class coach. For me and Eshanie, we thought “okay maybe it is not our train.” paraphrasing it. The LED board has changed destination but we decided to wait. Kak Filzah couldn’t sit still. She got really anxious. There are only 2 train trips to Zagazig, the one we were taking was the evening trip which is the last one for the day. If we missed it, we have to stay one more night in Alex and she didn’t want that. We might even miss our class the next morning.
At first seeing Kak Filzah moving around, I couldn’t be bothered but I looked at her eyes she looks like she was about to cry, too worried so I decided to make sure that we are at the right platform. It is hard to confirm anything, there is always miscommunications with the locals. I kind of flunked my arabic already. Eshanie and I split up to really confirm the status.
And guess what? Eshanie was running back to me, and I was about to say the same thing.. “IT IS!” The train we thought was not our is actually the right train. We ran to the end of the train which was far distance away from the place we waited and there, the last coach was ours.
If we missed the train, I don’t mind finding another alternatives or just stay for another night. Looking back at the dynamic of our decision making, it is risky to be so good adapting. It is definitely not cost-effective as I might be spending over the budget. But, missing a train might also open up an opportunity for me to experience something new.
Kak Taskeen couldn’t reach Eliz’s phone. So “jom jalan?”. We walked home.
