The 7 Coffee Drinkers That You Definitely Know.


I am not a daily coffee drinker; but it doesn’t take a coffee wizard to know what type of coffee drinker everyone is. With over two billion cups consumed every year, it’s hard not to walk into a Starbucks and not label people.

Some might provoke an angry side of you that has never seen the light of day; while others you don’t pay any mind. This is the list of typical coffee drinkers:

1. The Demanding Starbucks Client

“I said no cream and 2% skim milk, not 5%!”

He holds the rush hour line and makes you question your sanity until his coffee is just right. … Really?!

2. The Environmentalist Hipster

“Sorry barista, this isn’t single-origin coffee? I can’t drink it, it’s against my coffee moral compass”

With his month experience in France, skinny Levi jeans, and god given taste buds; this guy always has a the motive to criticize why you are a bad person for drinking coffee at chains rather than local shops.

3. The Fast Food Black Coffee Drinker

“I’ve watched Fast Food Nation, but that doesn’t mean coffee isn’t so bad”

Don’t get me wrong, I admire their appreciation for the simple things in life. But sometimes I might just want to splurge on a cup of Starbucks.

4. The Chemist

“They call this place an artisan coffee joint but they don’t even have French vanilla coffee syrup?!”

While they spend a short 2 minute span adding more ingredients to their custom made order; it makes for a life time after waiting in the morning rush hour line. I’ve always wondered if just maybe they truly are chemists by day and bartenders by night.

5. The Midnight Creeper

“I still got four hours left for my shift and I got a 5 AM wake up call”

If he’s drinking coffee at a 24 hour diner more than two days a week, you’ve got to wonder what line of work he’s in because it’s definitely not preaching.

6. The Marathon Drinker

“If I don’t get my x amount of cups a day I literally won’t function”

This should be an olympic sport because it is definitely a talent to be able to take massive quantities of coffee.

7. The Usual Tea Drinker

“What’s drip coffee?”

He’s a coffee newbie, but give him a break! He’s a risk taker for trying his first cappuccino ever. There is always a first time for everything. Right?

Written by Stephen Abitbol: Digital marketing intern at Discovering Coffee.


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