If One Dream Dies, Dream Another Dream.

Letting go of old dreams to make room for new ones.

DeezShirts Studio Floor

It’s hard to believe that it has been 15 years. While still in college, I set out to develop one very wild idea that kept brewing in my head. I wanted to find a way to sell t-shirts all over the United States that represented my nationality . I wanted to create a brand (not having a clue what a brand was then.) A clothing line that would allow me to create products for immigrants like myself. Like many immigrants in the USA, I felt the need to represent where I came from. The island of the Dominican Republic. I wanted to build a line of products for people that hold a deep passion and connection to the country they are proud to be from.

While visiting cultural festivals in my then hometown of Boston, I realized that the apparel that was being sold was of very low quality and the designs were just lame. Ironed-on, lame! Yet people keep buying them. It made me wonder why it was so hard to find a single dominican t-shirt that was high in quality and that I would be proud to wear in public, any given day and not just at festivals.

So after many months of brainstorming, designing ideas and mapping out a plan to hit the warm summer streets of Boston, DeezShirts was born. A tiny local t-shirt brand with nine designs representing most major nationalities in the city. The designs covered Dominicans, Haitians, Puerto Ricans, Colombian, Mexican and Cape Verdeans.

The Original DeezShirts Logo

The name ‘DeezShirts’ came about as a play on the phrase “these shirts”. I wanted the name to rhyme, like: “hey, I got deezshirts for sale… Check them out!”. One of my closest friends (Prieto) jokingly kept calling it DeezNutz and made fun of it for months. Eventually all the jokes left catchy and I kept thinking that DeezShirts idea didn’t seem that bad. So I ran with it.

I believed in this idea like nothing else I had ever worked on and I put all little bit of money that I had into it without a single ounce of doubt. After my car was stolen and the insurance money came in, I invested it all in DeezShirts. It was $4000 to be exact. I used $2000 to buy a used van from my uncle, $1500 went into t-shirt blacks and printing cost and I used left over $500 on cellphone payments, web domain name and hosting, flyers, posters and business cards. Yes, business cards were a hit back in those days.

I will never forget day one, waiting outside of the printing shop thinking about what I was about to do. The loading dock doors opened and I packed my van with fleshly hot-off-the-press t-shirts. That was a summer to remember. Every day after work, I was out selling t-shirts out of my van until 1:00 am. I drove through every playground, every basketball court, every park, every bodega (Spanish corner store) and I sold great t-shirts, pinned up posters and gave out business cards. I vividly remember how every time I drove away from a spot, I always go called back because other people wanted to buy my products.

It was a magical feeling to stand in front of an unknown crowd and watch them all smile from learning that a product you created existed.

Now, before I go any further and share why I am letting go of this dream, I want to mention how grateful I am for the journey that putting together this little business has given me. I would not be where I am today, had it not been for the chance I took on myself and all the things I learned while developing and running this t-shirt business.

I learned about starting a business from scratch, trademarks, copyrights and all that legal stuff most people tend to fear. Rightfully so, I can relate because I have been through that. I managed to somehow, without any knowledge, build a successful business with very little help. I took on an endeavour of a lifetime where I branded, marketed and sold products all over the United States and eventually internationally.

Without a choice, I became an entrepreneur and picked up business skills that no school could have helped me learn. I am talking management skills, budgeting, business relationship skills, products development and marketing campaigns and killer grassroots/gorilla marketing skills.I got to meet people from all walks of life. A lot of beautiful people that inspired me and provided me with support and confirmation that the wild idea in my head was a good one. It sure was.And with all the responsibilities that come with running a small business, I was able to become a better designer as I grew with the company.


I’ve been struggling with letting go for a while

This business was so good to me and it has been part of my life for a very long period of time. I even automated the entire business so it could run on its own completely without very little effort, but even then, I still wanted to let go. Heartache and all, I still wanted out. Here is why:

I started this t-shirt business back when t-shirts + cool designs weren’t a business and the market is now very saturated. Even my mother has a t-shirt business somewhere, I am sure.

The more time I held on to the business the more I felt like I was cheating myself out of stepping out of my comfort zone as a designer and entrepreneur to do bigger things. In order words, I kept wanting bigger challenges.

I grew out of wearing t-shirts with funny or cultural messages myself and I felt like a sellout designing t-shirts that many people loved but I wouldn’t wear myself. It’s kind of like if Michael Jordan was selling his famous sneakers, but somehow he only wore wingtip suede shoes.

It didn’t feel like running the t-shirt business was fun anymore. It felt more like an obligation.

I crashed and burned a few times trying to provide a great product and a good experience to my Latino community. A community that at many times expects nothing but the highest quality. These were frustrating times, but I kept at it.

I wanted to grow and every time I tried to do something new and explore other creative avenues, the t-shirt business kept pulling back to the repetitiveness that it had turned into. Ideas, designs, production, ship and repeat.

My heart just wasn’t in it anymore. It’s kind of hard to believe that one can fall out of love with something they loved doing so much. Come to think of it though, this could happen with many things, not just with a business journey. I absolutely loved this. I loved it to a point where I looked forward to long nights and very little sleep. All for the cause of introducing new products on a regular basis and watching the love pour in from all the fans, old or new.


If you find yourself still yearning for some good ol’ and classic Latino and Dominican joints, I recommend checking out The Peralta Project. Peralta is hands-down one of my favorite artists (I wish he would sell his amazing canvases) and he has been pushing out great artwork for as long as I can remember. His work is uplifting, inspidring and it’s sure to raise an eyebrow while putting a smile on your face. Huge fan!


Wait, so what now?

In the last four years I have been lucky to find myself working at some amazing companies as a Senior Product Designer and User Experience Architect.

Starting with MATLAB, where I worked with a very talented group of people while building and shipping products to market. This was an unforgettable experiene that paved the way, allowing me to further understand the digital world we now live in.

I then went on to implement my product design and entrepreneur expertise to help build a number of startups (Rokk3rLabs, Juana La Iguana, Hyp3rApp and AdMobilize). This ultimately exposed me to a whole new world. A world that is constantly growing while solving problems. A world I am dove into, head first.

Today I am at PWC Digital, where as part of The Experience Center of PriceWaterhouseCoopers, I work with creative teams to build experiences for global brands. These are exciting times for sure and I can’t wait to see what the future holds.

My main plan now is to focus all of my energy in building digital products. I want to build products that are going to solve problems. I want to use my talents and challenge myself to develop products that can provide a solutions around the world. Solutions that can hopefully help a lot of people.

Wish me luck!

Next Story — 10 Tips to Be More Creative in Your Photography
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10 Tips to Be More Creative in Your Photography

No matter who you are, you probably love being creative. Many of us pick up photography to escape the dread of our day jobs.

However the issue is that many of us become less creative as we get older. How do we stay creative and retain that child-like curiosity when we were younger?

1. Never stop learning

I meet people who are older (in their 70s and 80s) and am amazed that while some of them look fantastic, some of them look like crap. Some of them are active, creative, and full of life. Others are dying on couches, watching Netflix, and feeling purposeless in life.

What is the secret of aging well and staying creative?

To never stop learning.

I have a buddy named Fred, who is in his 70s and has never lost his child-like enthusiasm for learning, being creative, and expressing himself. Talking to him is like taking a triple shot of espresso; he speaks with so much energy and life, and has a million ideas running through his head.

He told me to never stop being amazed by the world, and being grateful for all the beauty in the world. I think as he’s getting older, he’s becoming more and more active and creative.

But Fred wasn’t always that way. For a long time he hid his photos and didn’t share them because of a fear that people would steal his images, or that he might be judged negatively. But once he realized that he wanted to start to share his images, that is when he started to take off. Now he is doing exhibitions, pursuing creative collaborations, and also pushing his photography to the next level.

2. Assume others are smarter than you

I have a big head and ego. Sometimes I fall into the trap of being an “expert” in photography.

The problem is that this causes me to stagnate in my photography. The more of an “expert” I become, the less creative I am. The less willing I am to step outside of my comfort zone and try something new.

A new thing I’ve been experimenting is this: assume that others are smarter, more creative, and talented than you. This way you stay humble, and can continue to learn. When others critique or give you feedback for your photos, don’t defend yourself. Simply keep your ears open, keep nodding your head, and appreciate their feedback. Of course you don’t need to blindly follow all of their suggestions. Listen to what they have to say, and then later figure out how to integrate their suggestions.

3. Cross-pollination

For me, I think creativity is about re-combining ideas that have already existed before, adding your own personality, and creating something new.

One of the best ways to be creative is to cross-pollinate different ideas or skills you have.

For example, let’s say you’re passionate about photography and law. Maybe you can combine that to create an idea to help support photographer’s rights (especially street photography rights).

Let’s say your passion is photography and computer science. Perhaps you could make some sort of app that helps the photography community at large. Michael Zhang (who founded PetaPixel) studied computer science, and has used his interest in journalism to design a fantastic website that delivers interesting photo-related news to the public.

Saul Leiter combined his love of painting and photography. Henri Cartier-Bresson combined his passion for surrealistic art and his photography. Elliott Erwitt combines his humor and his photography.

I have a friend Bil Brown who combines his love of poetry and photography. I combine my passion for sociology and photography.

What are other elements you can combine, remix, and “cross-pollinate” to make unique and creative ideas in your photography?

4. Publish everyday

I have experimented a lot of different ways to be creative. And of course, all the things in this post are suggestions — not rules or laws to creativity.

I’ve recently started to make more YouTube videos and have committed to posting at least 1 video a day. I know that not every video is going to be great, but it has helped stimulate my creativity.

For example, I’ve recorded a bunch of YouTube videos just on my webcam in my bedroom in the suburbs, and just shared random ideas on my mind. And then these ideas stimulated me to write more.

So what I do nowadays (when I don’t know what to write) — I look at some of the YouTube videos I’ve made, and just turn it into writing form.

I also find that by publishing 1 thing a day, you are able to relieve yourself of any sort of “creative constipation” you might have.

Also by publishing, you affirm your creative work into a tangible act. Many of us have a fear of publishing and putting our work out there — and that is what causes us to stagnate creatively.

One of the biggest things I learned on “Originals” by Adam Grant is that quantity leads to quality. Picasso painted thousands of paintings, but only a few became memorable. Einstein went through thousands of ideas before he found 1–2 memorable ones. Beethoven composed thousands of songs, but only a few have stuck in our collective memory. The more quantity we output, the more likely we are to have a few quality ones.

If you publish something everyday (365 in a year) — you are bound to have a few good ideas.

Some ideas:

- Publish a photo everyday to social media
- Upload a YouTube video everyday
- Write a blog post everyday
- Take a photo everyday (can be done on smartphone or any camera you have that is easy)

Also, only do this if you want to do this. Doing one thing a day — you don’t want this if it causes you stress and anxiety in life.

What I have also done in blogging and my video is that I will create a bunch of content in one day, and then schedule it out for the week (so one thing posts everyday). This helps me feel less stressed and anxious, and more willing to create more creative materials.

5. Drink lots of coffee

Honestly, I know very few creative people who don’t drink a ton of coffee or some sort of caffeine.

Part of it is that caffeine and coffee stimulate our minds. Also part of it is that whenever I go to a coffee shop to do work, I always bump into other creative people, share ideas, learn from them, and become motivated to do more creative work.

There are a lot of people who can be creative by sitting alone in their home, and others (like myself) who need to be out in the real world.

There is no right or wrong; experiment and see what works for you.

But I’ll have to say, nothing inspires me more to write a blog post than to have a lovely double-shot of espresso.

6. Find beauty in everything

Amelia, my niece, is a baby and is a learning machine. She finds beauty and joy in everything. From playing with leaves on a tree, to throwing things into the laundry, and to learning how to speak. Everything is a challenge for her, and fun and interesting.

When we grow up to become adults, we lose this child-like sense of curiosity and beauty and wonderment in the world.

As photographers, we can be more creative by finding beauty in everything we see — and by wondering and asking ourselves questions.

For example, if you shoot nature photography, ask yourself, “Why is the sky blue? Where do these birds get their food? How do plants grow out here in the desert?”

If you’re a street photographer, be curious in the lives of others. Ask yourself, “What is this person up to today? What is his/her life story? What feelings or emotions do they have today?”

If you shoot architecture, ask yourself: “Who designed this building? Why did they decide to create curves instead of straight lines? What kind of political statement are they trying to say with this building?”

The more questions you ask, the more wonderment you will find. And the more creative you will become.

7. Relax your mind

My most creative moments or the “aha” moments I get are when I am not doing anything active. I get most of my creative breakthroughs when I’m taking a shower, working out, driving in the car (without any music on or podcasts), when I am walking around the streets (with my phone off), or when I am taking a nap.

Studies have shown that in order for us to be creative, we need to relax our minds. We cannot constantly stimulate our minds and expect to be creative. You need to relax your mind, and allow ideas to randomly hit one another.

So as a practical assignment, don’t always stimulate your mind (either audio-visually). Go on long walks with your smartphone off and with no music. Drive your car and don’t listen to a podcast or listen to music. When you want to take a break from doing work on your computer, shut your computer off completely and don’t check social media or blogs.

And whenever possible, take a nap. If you work at a company, for your lunch break, take a nap in your car (I used to do this). Or take a 15 minute break, walk to a park, and take a nap on the bench. Daydreaming yields so many beautiful ideas (and gives us more energy to output creative ideas later on).

8. Don’t edit

This is going to be a bit controversial — but I feel one of the best ways to output more creative ideas is to not edit your ideas.

I think in today’s society there is an over-emphasis on editing. But I like to live life un-edited. Even 99% of my blog posts are not edited. I write what is on my mind, and then hit publish. If I make an error or a typo, I can always correct it later.

An over-emphasis on editing causes you to become too self-critical, fearful of publishing, and disrupts your creative flow.

Of course you don’t want to just put crap out there either. My personal rule is the 80% rule: make your work 80% good (to your own standards) then just hit publish.

I can write a blog post in 30 minutes or an hour and get it about 80% good. I could spend another 4 hours to make it 95% good (but is that worth it?) Not for me. I’d rather spend that time to read more, talk with friends, go on a walk, take photos, or write.

Try to do creative things without editing for a while (experiment with this), and I guarantee your creative ideas will continue to flow.

9. Have fun

I’ve never been able to be creative when my mom forced me to do so. I hated doing piano lessons as a kid, never had fun, and never got any good at it.

But with photography and writing — I have so much fun. I do it for the sake of it, because the act in itself brings me so much joy and enjoyment.

When you do something for fun, it doesn’t feel like a chore, and you are more inspired and motivated to continue to do it.

Even with exercise — only do workouts which you find fun. Or else you won’t stick with it.

Children don’t expect to get paid money to have fun and play in the playground. They do it because they enjoy it.

Treat your own photography and creative life the same. The more you have fun, the less stress it is, and the more authentic it is. Whenever you have fun and enthusiasm in your creative work, that same joy with transmit to your viewer.

10. Only do creative work you must do

Life is short; why spend it doing things you don’t like to do? Only do creative work that you must do — rather than creative work you think you “should” do.

When you do creative work against your own will, you will always do it with a tinge of resentment and frustration.

Listen to your own heart, and follow your creative compulsions.

For example, if I go a day without writing or taking photos, I get creatively frustrated. Then my negative energy and vibes ruin my relations with my friends, family, and loved ones.

I know that my creative duty is a must — and I prioritize it above everything else. I make sure not to check email first thing in the morning, and often keep my smartphone turned off (completely off) until around 3pm. This gives me a ton of undistracted time to do creative work throughout the day, when my energy levels are high.

Of course you might have a full-time job and not the same flexibility as me. So perhaps wake up super early before work, and do 1–2 hours of creative work in the morning. Or block off your weekends to creative work (eschew pointless social obligations or time-wasting activities).

Defend your creative time fiercely. After all, without your creative time and attention, you will die.

Conclusion

Stay creative, nimble, humble — and never stop learning. Expand your potential, and share your unique and creative vision with the rest of the world. Don’t waste a single day; make the best of today.

Always,
Eric

Next Story — This 100-Year-Old To-Do List Hack Still Works Like A Charm
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This 100-Year-Old To-Do List Hack Still Works Like A Charm

The “Ivy Lee Method” is stupidly simple — and that’s partly why it’s so effective.

[Photo: Flickr user Billy Millard]

By James Clear, who writes about self-improvement tips based on proven scientific research at JamesClear.com, where this article first appeared. It is adapted with permission.

By 1918, Charles M. Schwab was one of the richest men in the world.

Schwab (oddly enough, no relation to Charles R. Schwab, founder of the Charles Schwab Corporation) was the president of the Bethlehem Steel Corporation, the largest shipbuilder and the second-largest steel producer in the U.S. at the time. The famous inventor Thomas Edison once referred to Schwab as the “master hustler.” He was constantly seeking an edge over the competition.

Accounts differ as to the date, but according to historian Scott M. Cutlip, it was one day in 1918 that Schwab — in his quest to increase the efficiency of his team and discover better ways to get things done — arranged a meeting with a highly respected productivity consultant named Ivy Lee.

Lee was a successful businessman in his own right and is widely remembered as a pioneer in the field of public relations. As the story goes, Schwab brought Lee into his office and said, “Show me a way to get more things done.”

“Give me 15 minutes with each of your executives,” Lee replied.

“How much will it cost me?” Schwab asked.

“Nothing,” Lee said. “Unless it works. After three months, you can send me a check for whatever you feel it’s worth to you.”



THE IVY LEE METHOD

During his 15 minutes with each executive, Lee explained his simple method for achieving peak productivity:

  1. At the end of each workday, write down the six most important things you need to accomplish tomorrow. Do not write down more than six tasks.
  2. Prioritize those six items in order of their true importance.
  3. When you arrive tomorrow, concentrate only on the first task. Work until the first task is finished before moving on to the second task.
  4. Approach the rest of your list in the same fashion. At the end of the day, move any unfinished items to a new list of six tasks for the following day.
  5. Repeat this process every working day.

The strategy sounded simple, but Schwab and his executive team at Bethlehem Steel gave it a try. After three months, Schwab was so delighted with the progress his company had made that he called Lee into his office and wrote him a check for $25,000.

A $25,000 check written in 1918 is the equivalent of a $400,000 check in 2015.

The Ivy Lee Method of prioritizing your to-do list seems stupidly simple. How could something this simple be worth so much?

What makes it so effective?

ON MANAGING PRIORITIES WELL

Ivy Lee’s productivity method utilizes many of the concepts I have written about previously.

Here’s what makes it so effective:

It’s simple enough to actually work. The primary critique of methods like this one is that they are too basic. They don’t account for all of the complexities and nuances of life. What happens if an emergency pops up? What about using the latest technology to our fullest advantage? In my experience, complexity is often a weakness because it makes it harder to get back on track. Yes, emergencies and unexpected distractions will arise. Ignore them as much as possible, deal with them when you must, and get back to your prioritized to-do list as soon as possible. Use simple rules to guide complex behavior.

It forces you to make tough decisions. I don’t believe there is anything magical about Lee’s number of six important tasks per day. It could just as easily be five tasks per day. However, I do think there is something magical about imposing limits upon yourself. I find that the single best thing to do when you have too many ideas (or when you’re overwhelmed by everything you need to get done) is to prune your ideas and trim away everything that isn’t absolutely necessary. Constraints can make you better. Lee’s method is similar to Warren Buffet’s 25–5 Rule, which requires you to focus on just five critical tasks and ignore everything else. Basically,if you commit to nothing, you’ll be distracted by everything.

It removes the friction of starting. The biggest hurdle to finishing most tasks is starting them. (Getting off the couch can be tough, but once you actually start running, it is much easier to finish your workout.) Lee’s method forces you to decide on your first task the night before you go to work. This strategy has been incredibly useful for me: As a writer, I can waste three or four hours debating what I should write about on a given day. If I decide the night before, however, I can wake up and start writing immediately. It’s simple, but it works. In the beginning, getting started is just as important as succeeding at all.

It requires you to single-task. Modern society loves multitasking. The myth of multitasking is that being busy is synonymous with being better. The exact opposite is true. Having fewer priorities leads to better work. Study world-class experts in nearly any field — athletes, artists, scientists, teachers, CEOs — and you’ll discover one characteristic that runs through all of them: focus. The reason is simple. You can’t be great at one task if you’re constantly dividing your time 10 different ways. Mastery requires focus and consistency.

The bottom line? Do the most important thing first each day. It’s the only productivity trick you need.

Read this story at Fast Company.

Next Story — Travel Tips for Inventors and Entrepreneurs
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Travel Tips for Inventors and Entrepreneurs

Inventors and entrepreneurs are always networking with people all over the world, and sometimes that means traveling to different locations for work meetings. To maximize your productivity and enjoyment during a trip, do all you can to take the stress out of traveling. Check out these travel tips.

Plan months in advance

As soon as you know you will be taking a trip, start the planning process. Some people find it easy to plan by blocking out general time slots and then filling them with specific tasks or activities. For example, create a preliminary schedule that outlines when you plan to travel, work, eat, and have fun, and then fill those time slots as your travel date gets closer. It is essential to have your flight, hotel, and meeting space booked ahead of time, but you have a little more flexibility with your entertainment options. However, you should still check out travel blogs for the location you are visiting so you don’t waste time looking for fun things to do hours before your free time. By planning your trip months in advance, you can eliminate the guesswork from travel and lower your stress.

Fly smart

There are entire blogs dedicated to flying, but it all boils down to this: flying CAN be inconvenient and bothersome, but it doesn’t have to be. If you are flying with inventory or a prototype, call the airline weeks or months ahead of time and ask what your storage options are. It may make more sense to you to ship your product using another method. Read more here: http://blog.inventhelp.com/prototype/

If you are a frequent flyer, invest in TSA Pre-Check, which allows you to go through shorter lines and expedite the security process when boarding a plane. Additionally, sign up for rewards miles through your preferred airline — and stick to using that company each time. If you combine these rewards systems with a frequent flyer credit card, you’ll be earning free trips in no time. While you’re flying high, make sure you get some work done. Although working on the plane certainly isn’t fun, it provides you unscheduled time that allows you to get ahead. Plug in your headphones, buy the in-air WiFi, and get to work. By flying smart, you can travel with your invention safely, reduce waiting time, earn flying miles, and get some work done before your big trip.

Learn the customs

When traveling to another location, especially a foreign country, business customs may be different from those you are used to. Make sure you do your research and familiarize yourself with greetings, meeting structures, dress codes, and other customs before meeting with foreign business people. Check out our recent blog for more in-depth information: http://blog.inventhelp.com/international-business/

Network, network, network

Traveling gives you the opportunity to meet many new people, not only in the board room, but also when you’re out and about. Always be prepared with a business card and your elevator speech. You should be interacting with as many people as possible and telling them about your idea. It’s possible that you could meet like-minded inventors or people that may have the connections to help you. Make sure to store the business cards you have collected somewhere safe so you can find them when you return home. Thank everyone you talked to with a short email to open yourself up to communications and collaboration in the future.

Invention is a worldwide business, so you may end up getting to take a business trip to help move forward with your invention. Traveling can be stressful but it can also be incredibly beneficial. By planning months in advance, flying smart, learning the customs of the place you’re visiting, and networking like a pro, you can enjoy your business trip while being productive.


Originally published at blog.inventhelp.com

Next Story — Today’s Vagenda
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Today’s Vagenda

Ready for the day.

6:00 am. Arise. Wrap your cardigan-sheathed hands around a mug of hot cardamom lemon water; squint into the distance from your craftsman veranda. Breathe authentically. Pick off a passing man with your bespoke porch rifle.

6:30 am. Laundry. The heather-gray linen kitchen towels from last night’s festivities need washing. Delicate cycle; honeysuckle gentle wash detergent. Head back upstairs. Roll up your husband’s body inside the flokati rug upon which it rests. Dust surrounding area with small-batch microfiber.

7:30 am. Morning e-mails. Remind the others about this weekend’s dick-burning.

8:15 am. Breakfast: coconut-ginger scones with raw wolf meat. Using the giraffe filter on Snapchat, falsely accuse a man of rape.

9:00 am. Nap.

9:18 am. Yoga while watching latest Real Housewives of New Jersey; question Jacqueline’s motives. Move the rug-swaddled corpse to a dumpster behind Whole Foods. Buy chia seeds in bulk.

11:30 am. Back home. Shower; wash face with homemade semen-cucumber scrub. Triple steam vulva. Check internet. Mob formed yet?

1:30 pm. Doctor’s appointment — ask about ‘pleasure abortions.’ Do they do group packages? Alison’s birthday is coming up.

2:55 pm. Retail therapy; there’s a sale at Michael’s. Purchase 37 mason jars. Text Jenny for her scrotum-infused kombucha recipe. Commit vehicular manocide in the parking lot. Text while driving; tell the internet mob they can stop — you’ve just killed the man you falsely accused of rape.

4:30 pm. Kill a football team.

4:45 pm. Nap.

6:30 pm. Order artisanal pizza. Abduct the delivery guy upon his arrival; make him dance for you while you work on screenplay for an all-female Saving Private Ryan.

7:30 pm. Google cyanide. Ethically harvested version available?

7:45 pm. Nag a man to death at the local bar.

9:25 pm. Deactivate bitch shield.

9:30 pm. Apply lavender oil to temples, crawl into bed. Snuggle under your hemp percale sheets; set your noise machine to “crickets+men crying.” Fall asleep censoring male speech online.

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