Smurfette is just a prison bitch “Wyfie” in the numbers gang system.
Did you get the Pollock family come to your school when you were a kid to preach about Jesus to you?.. Yes the same ones, who, whilst playing cricket like demons, came to our schools when we were kids to talk to us about demons.
What demons…..The Cartoon Demons of the 80’s
I recall having Peter Pollock, father of Shaun, the “ginger ninja” and the selector of the South African cricket team, actually interrupt our childhood education with this twaddle. Masters of the Universe, Ninja Turtles that kind of thing. What a wally.
You see the smurf’s were demons….What kind of demons you may ask. Well it was the 80’s, and there wasn’t quite the range of cartoons out there for kids at the time in South Africa… So it was mostly gentle kindly things like the Smurfs they picked on. What was wrong with the smurf’s you may well ask. Well they were satanic. No really. Something about them being blue (representing the fact they were dead) and that in Puerto Rico in the early 80’s some loons found the smurf’s at the bottom of their pot plants practising satanism. I wonder what kind of fine Puerto Rican’ pot plant they were hiding under…Sounds like some strong stuff.
All these stories. All these lies. And being spread by bloody adults. I just read that the Smurf’s were also meant to represent Communism. Sheesh. How smart did you think kids where in those days. Apparently Smurf stands for “Socialist Men Under Red Father”. Then again the band KISS was meant to mean “Kids in Satans Service” Hell…anyone can play that game….Why KISS could easily stand for “Kicked in soft scrotum” “Killed in Sunday Service”
That the village was akin to a community living under a communist society with all their sharing etc..That Papa Smurf was the embodiment of Karl Marx. Really.. Some funny stuff. Then there always comes the question…What about Smurfette. In a village of only male smurfs….where did she come from.
Well she was made by a spell by Gargamel and transformed into the gentle lady smurf by Papa Smurf. He did some magic and sorted her out into the kindly lady smurf we know and er…love.
I have my theories here too. This was done to give explanation to the Numbers Gang. In Pollsmoor prison, new inmates go through an initiation ceremony. I think Smurfette is just a prison “wyfie” owned by Papa Smurf, who is essentially the John Mongrel of the prison/village. Smufette is probably a 28 in the Silver line.
She would stab you for tik money. She has probably seen plenty of Smurf cock in her time. In essence. Im more afraid of Smurfette than Gargamel (who probably represents the Prison Warders) Now that would be a dangerous cartoon for kids.
Originally published at hellpants.com on April 21, 2010.