Detachment

Lack of feeling

The pressure builds up

/

A headache

No release

My heart yet to open up

/

I want to feel

But I can’t

I feel so closed off

/

Emotions escape me

Like glitter sprinkling from the sky

Disappear into the rough

/

The cold snow hits the ground

Immediately covers it up

/

My face hurts

It’s tense

I want my heart to open up

/

Shut tight

I lay here at night

Fail to fall asleep

/

Under a warm snuggly blanket

Deep sleep meditation

Pick up my phone to keep writing

No luck

/

Maybe tomorrow I’ll feel

Maybe the next day

Maybe when they hold the remembrance potluck

/

Maybe when I land back in The City yet again

But for now I won’t try to pretend

/

Feeling escapes me

It hides

It runs away

I’m in fear

/

I want to live in love

But it requires vulnerability

Willingness to lose the people I hold most dear

/

Part of me wants to detach

To push away

To not love

In fear of loss

/

My biggest fear

Suicide of a friend

A shadow it has cast

/

My heart from red

To grey like stone

It’s so rare to feel this side of me

/

My way of coping

It hurts but doesn’t

Weird

Strange

Lack of feeling

Ripples through the inside of me

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