Very thought-provoking and well-written, thank you!
I can relate with your husband — intellectually, I believe there’s nothing “wrong” with not shaving your legs — a woman should do whatever she wants. But it is a serious turn off for me, and probably always will be. It’s the result of growing up in this society — views that I have no desire to have (homophobia, sexism, racism, etc) have been implanted in me, and will be there for the rest of my life at a very deep level. It’s pretty amazing to think that these influences go so far as to control my physical sexual responses.
Sex is a tricky thing, because it’s hard to intellectualize away what you’re attracted/not attracted to, as unfair as that often is. I’m glad you and your husband were able to work it out.