Some tips to find friend moving to a new city

I frequent move, and therefore do not have years to slowly meet new people. Like people traditionally do through their studies, work, events etc. However, meeting potential new friends in not complicated, but it takes deliberate effort to do it faster. Because, you are the newcomer and nobody knows you and vise versa.

Basics

  1. Do the first move, get out of your comfort zone and dare to say awkwardly “Hi” to people. To start the conversation and share yourself first. Be extroverted in personality, even if you're normally not.
  2. Very importantly! Have no expectations and goals for the people you meet. Do not be a psychopath with some hidden agenda, and pretend friendliness to get access to something.
  3. Be biased to give and share without any expectation of something in return. Kind and open people want to be around other caring people.
  4. Be interesting. People generally would want to be around interesting and energetic people. Nobody likes an energy vampire, including you.

Find the people

  1. Generalize the type of people you want to meet. Where would they go? For me i love people that makes stuff. I therefore went to every hackathon, tech and startup event in the radius of Hamburg that i could find.
  2. Then go on Meetup or Eventbrite and fill your calendar with events that might be interesting one to two week in advanced. Then color code these event with a light grey color, so that you later can decide if you go or not. Repeat this every week, personally i plan my week on Sundays.

Some event have attendees with very variated interests and some are more focused groups on specific topic. Go to all of them! It is okay to go to events where you perhaps do not fit in. Because, we as social creatures goes to these event to meet new people. Not stay lonely in the corner, or exclude someone.

If a group with your specific interesting doesn't exist, consider making your own meetup group. It´s not easy! however, it grows over time if you stick with it.

Connect>Build>Retain

You are a the newcomer and these people are allready having a routine. So if you want to build a connecting with them besides at events, then you should ask them! Get a coffee together, go to lunch etc. My favorite is to invite them to join me at events or adventures that they also might intered, and through it share an experience.

Time management is an emotional decision, so fit your schedule, to when they have time. You can't expect a person that barely knows you, bend their emotional planned schedule to you. We live in a connected world, where physical and digital contact is almost emotionally valued equally. So just sending a message on social media, can be a great way to stay in touch.

remember; Friendships and thrust are build over time, through things you experience together and what you share. So remember to actively engage with people, and build up your connection. However, don't forget to be patient.