Hoverboards don’t explode

You may have heard that a few have caught fire

So have countless iPhones, Macbooks, electric cars and pretty much anything with a lithium ion battery.

A quick science lesson:

Batteries store energy. The better the battery, the more energy it stores. The way batteries are designed, if they sustain enough damage, it is possible for them to release their energy, sometimes causing enough heat to start a fire. Engineers make them as strong as possible, while also making them as light as possible. Ultimately anything will fail if enough stress is induced.

Back to the hoverboards

“ reports of the gadgets spontaneously combusting” -Gizmodo

Wow, such misleading. Spontaneous combustion implies there was no reason for the device to catch fire. If these reporters had even an ounce of journalistic integrity left in them they might say something more like this:

Due to lack of information shared in the initial reports, it is not known exactly what caused the device to catch fire.

This is 2015, things don’t spontaneously combust. We can’t say exactly why until we get access to the full forensics reports. But we are reasonable, evolved humans. We can use our amazing brains to science our way into some answers. Why might batteries catch fire? Let’s list the ways:

Abuse

Modern mobile devices need to be both strong and light. It is unreasonable to expect them to be indestructible. While it is possible, it would weigh as much as a tank. They are designed to be tough enough for everyday use. But just like your car, the harder you are on it, the less reliable it will be.

Using broken charger cables

It is safe to say charging cables are a fiery pain in the ass. That’s why we have heroes like Meredith Perry working on solutions that will turn the charging cable into an exhibit in the Smithsonian. But until she succeeds, we should exercise a bit of caution. These things love to get stepped on, they seem to always be in the way. Try your best to be a cord ninja and you will save a lot of cash. But if you do manage to break one, just throw it away and get a new one. Trust me: it’s cheaper than losing your house in a fire.

OK, so what’s up with all the hate?

If you are still reading, by now you might be thinking, “Ok. You have made some reasonable points, but I have read so much that goes against these hoverboards. I know there is something you aren’t telling me.”

Well here’s the deal: these hoverboards are an insane value. They are 3x lighter than a Segway, 10x cheaper than a Segway, and 10x (subjectively) cooler than a Segway (thanks Jamie Foxx).

Hoverboard is to iPhone as Segway was to Newton

We get it. What’s the catch?

Well a lot of forward thinking businesspeople have recognized this incredible value and are all racing to dominate the market, which can be a great thing for consumers depending on the type of race that occurs:

Pure competition breeds better devices at a better value for consumers. Toxic competition detracts value from the market and hurt consumers.

What is this toxic competition you speak of?

I could name names, but my momma didn’t raise a snitch. Instead I will leave you with an interesting history lesson you may have heard before, but it bears repeating.

The War of the Currents

Back in the day, Thomas Edison and Nikola Tesla worked together. Tesla was a genius scientist, and Edison was a ruthless businessman. Together they were nearly unstoppable, but their relationship took a turn for the worse when Edison disagreed with Tesla on a seemingly semantic technological dispute.

AC vs. DC

Tesla argued alternating current was a better system for creating a worldwide power distribution network. LONG story short, Tesla was right. Look at your wall plug. Anywhere in the world, while it may look different, alternating current is pumping through it. However, Edison insisted his baby: direct current, would win.

Things start to get really weird

The will to win at any cost can do strange things to a man. In the case of Edison, he needed a way to show the public that AC was dangerous. It didn’t matter to him that both forms of electricity could be dangerous, and AC was a much more elegant, valuable solution. Edison just needed a simple plan. So he used his powerful connections to arrange the first execution by electric chair. He invented the device himself, which actually ended up working very sub optimally, horribly cooking the first beta tester (don’t feel too bad as he was an axe murderer) before he was slowly killed. Edison specifically used his competitor Westinghouse’s generators, which he bought under an assumed identity. While it is hard to feel pity for an axe murderer, no one should be in favor of cruel or unusual punishment

“an awful spectacle, far worse than hanging.” -witness to the electrocution of William Kemmler

This public relations nightmare continued as Edison, in his singular, losing, pursuit to beat Westinghouse and humiliate Tesla, kept coming up with more elaborate and bizarre demonstrations.

Topsy the elephant got a reputation as a bad elephant for killing a spectator. As such her circus owners decided to kill her, and also decided they could make a public event out of the execution in order to drum up publicity for their circus business. The Edison Manufacturing movie company graciously offered to film the event to gain content for its nascent entertainment vertical. By this time, the war of the currents was over, AC won. Edison decided wisely to shift his efforts into entertainment by this point, as clearly his grasp on science was not as good as Tesla’s. A relevant fact: Hoverboards (and the Tesla Model S) use 3 phase motor technology that was invented by Nikola Tesla himself.

Conclusion

It’s a wild world out there. Technology can be your best friend or your worst enemy. The media is constantly bombarding you with messages, some true, some utterly false, engineered to mislead you. Be mindful of what you consume, and you’re going to have a good time.

Keep calm and hover on☄🛰🏂