You Are Not Alone

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You are not alone.

I am 22 years old and I have about 4 years worth of relationship experience that almost any woman can relate. The flip side to that is that there are many women out there who have stories that I can relate. This ability to relate connects us. It unites us. It creates a clear understanding that there are other women who get it. There are other women who understand what we are going through and how difficult it was for us to breakthrough our past to where we are today. We must never be ashamed of our past or embarrassed to ask for help to improve our situation, none of us are perfect and we can all use a little guidance.

So, what makes you feel alone? Do you lay awake at night wishing you had someone to talk to? Do you stay home from going out because you don’t want to be the third wheel? Do you put all of your energy into catering to your man which results in you having barely any girlfriends when he’s not around? Maybe you are in a relationship, but you don’t get the attention you need to feel satisfied. Is your man too busy to listen to you or take you out? Are you in a long distance relationship? Or maybe you are in a relationship with someone who just doesn’t understand you and his ignorance makes you feel lonely even if he is physically present.

There are so many circumstances that can make us feel lonely but we have to remember that just because we feel lonely, it doesn’t mean that we are alone. A lot of times, loneliness is synonymous with I wish I had a man who loved me, listened to me and laughed with me. We don’t want the company of girlfriends, family, co-workers or classmates. We want intimacy, magic, a hint of sexual tension, and to stroke our curiosity. We want to feel the security of being surrounded by a man’s arms, we long for the attention and we lust after the feeling of finally being accepted. No matter who is in our presence, no matter how often we hang out with them, or no matter how much we confide in them, if there is not a man waiting for us at the end of the day, loneliness still finds a way to fill our hearts.

It’s time to STOP this type of thinking. It’s time to realize that we don’t need a man waiting on us at the end of the day to sleep in peace, or to make us feel complete. We have to realize that our hearts are longing for something, but it is the not the affection of a man. Our hearts long for acceptance, to feel worthy, to feel beautiful, to be heard, to be held, to feel supported and to feel loved. Our hearts are trying to feel a void that only God can fill.

The Bible says, Jeremiah 17:9, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” 1 Peter 5:6 says, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” And let’s wrap it up by reading, Psalm 34:10 which reads, “The young lions want and hunger, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.”

What does this mean? It means that being confused is natural because it’s our human nature. It means our heart doesn’t really know what it wants. It means that we have to submit our hearts to the Lord so that he can show us what is best for us even if we can’t see it for ourselves. The Lord wants us to cast all of our worries, doubt, fears, insecurities and lustful desires on him and when we do, he will replace our anxieties and make sure that we lack no good thing. This means we can stop depending on men to accept us, hear us, love us and comfort us. We can begin building healthy relationships with others around us who we know love and care for us.

We are not alone no matter how lonely we feel. Ultimately, feeling lonely is a choice. We can choose not to be satisfied with God’s best for us and seek after our natural desires but then we will miss out on the unwavering peace that only God can provide. We will miss out on the relationships we can build with amazing woman, we will miss out on the networks we could build with our co-workers. We could find ourselves missing out on the memories we could be making in our period of waiting for the right man for us.

It would be ridiculous to for me to try to make you believe that you will stop feeling lonely over night but it is imperative that you understand that you are not alone. The Lord is with you, I am here for you and if you allow yourself that opportunity to build quality friendships, you will realize that those friends are there for you too. In everything you do, keep your head up and know that you can succeed at anything you put your mind to. You are not alone.

Be encouraged,

Cioré D. Taylor